Hey guys, I'm writing one of the college essays. It's not finished but I'd like some suggestions as to what I could improve upon and any general suggestions you may have. Thank you before hand.
Have you ever thought what it is like to live in a system that restrains your every action? Every ounce of food is rationed and your bosses are nothing but puppets that uphold a system gripped with social tensions ready to burst. It's like a bag that's been filled up with too much crap and can't take it anymore. The lies are everywhere and any hint of truth is quickly suppressed in fear of exposing the weakness of the system. At the end of the day when you lie down in your bed, the only type of closure left is the crazy thought of some better day to come.
Now picture yourself only ninety miles away from freedom, where every imaginable idea and crazy dream can ideally be accomplished.
For over half a century now, my impoverished country, Cuba, has been systematically tyrannize and indoctrinated to the point where men run the risk of losing their newborn child to give them a life worth living. My father is one of those men. Fortunately for him the idea that has gripped the minds of thousands did not ultimately lead to the death of any family member like many have experienced. His outspoken nature and hatred for injustice would have surely landed him a torturous prison before I had even reached the first grade. Leaving behind our whole family, from cousins to grandparents, was the ultimate prize we paid in hope of making something out of ourselves. Imagine leaving behind everyone and not meeting the expectations that everyone set out for you. Such thoughts have weighed heavily on my mind but no one has prepared me for a successful life better than my dad.
From my earliest memory, Carlos, my dad, has led by nothing but example. There's truly no such thing as trying to teach through advice. It will never work. You can't tell your kid to go to college when you barely graduated high school with a 2.0 GPA and started working right away. Right from the very beginning, he worked three jobs to pay back a five-thousand dollar debt owed to distant cousins that paid the expenses of our trip. Working shifts during the day and night barely left any time for the family. Only seeing him for a couple of hours a day was tough but only now I understand that his sacrifices have established the strong foundations at home. His persistence to get our family back on its feet has been constant. Such impressions are invaluable.
Have you ever thought what it is like to live in a system that restrains your every action? Every ounce of food is rationed and your bosses are nothing but puppets that uphold a system gripped with social tensions ready to burst. It's like a bag that's been filled up with too much crap and can't take it anymore. The lies are everywhere and any hint of truth is quickly suppressed in fear of exposing the weakness of the system. At the end of the day when you lie down in your bed, the only type of closure left is the crazy thought of some better day to come.
Now picture yourself only ninety miles away from freedom, where every imaginable idea and crazy dream can ideally be accomplished.
For over half a century now, my impoverished country, Cuba, has been systematically tyrannize and indoctrinated to the point where men run the risk of losing their newborn child to give them a life worth living. My father is one of those men. Fortunately for him the idea that has gripped the minds of thousands did not ultimately lead to the death of any family member like many have experienced. His outspoken nature and hatred for injustice would have surely landed him a torturous prison before I had even reached the first grade. Leaving behind our whole family, from cousins to grandparents, was the ultimate prize we paid in hope of making something out of ourselves. Imagine leaving behind everyone and not meeting the expectations that everyone set out for you. Such thoughts have weighed heavily on my mind but no one has prepared me for a successful life better than my dad.
From my earliest memory, Carlos, my dad, has led by nothing but example. There's truly no such thing as trying to teach through advice. It will never work. You can't tell your kid to go to college when you barely graduated high school with a 2.0 GPA and started working right away. Right from the very beginning, he worked three jobs to pay back a five-thousand dollar debt owed to distant cousins that paid the expenses of our trip. Working shifts during the day and night barely left any time for the family. Only seeing him for a couple of hours a day was tough but only now I understand that his sacrifices have established the strong foundations at home. His persistence to get our family back on its feet has been constant. Such impressions are invaluable.