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Cbest Essay on US becoming spectators.



shalini singh 14 / 23  
Apr 30, 2010   #1
U.S. is becoming a nation of spectators--people who prefer to sit back and observe rather than a nation of doers. "Explain why you agree or disagree with the quotation above. Support your position with examples from your readings, observations, or experiences

United States of America is considered one of the strongest and developed nations all over the world in regard with developments and economic strength. In spite of being blessed with opportunities to develop more for the progress of nation, we prefer to sit back as an spectators and observe rather than working hard to compete with other nations of the world.

Other countries like China, Japan and India are growing so fast that in couple of years it seems they would be as developed as United States is at present. One example which I would like to discuss is automobile technology. Recently one of the American car company located in Detroit is about to close. The reason behind is better technology from other nations like Japan. They are able to sell large number of their cars in America and other part of worlds. Apparently, the reason is flaw in technology and manufacturing of American cars which makes their sale difficult.

In spite of having one of the best education system and schools in world, we are not able to raise enough higher education among people. America depends on highly skilled workers of other nations to do their work. Moreover, most of the skilled jobs are occupied by people from other outside country. Why we depend on these other nation skilled people for our skilled jobs? It is because people don't want to receive higher education in United States. We concentrate more on privacy and having fun in life by enjoying each and every moment. It is not bad if there exist a balance between work and fun.

On the other hand these skilled workers of other nations receive a higher education to work hard to compete in this competitive world and also live a better life. Furthermore, we can clearly make out from the fact that all our solid wastes is being transported to China, recycled and resold into the local market. We can also recycle waste in our country as we are more equipped and versed in all respects but, due to lack of efforts within us we pass on one of the source of revenue to other nation.

Eventually, we want to sit back and be a spectator and we don't want to work hard to compete with this competitive world. We feel confident that we are quite versed economically and have already developed, so we can afford getting our work done by others.

This complacency, can led to a uncompetitive attitude and can stagnate our further growth and development.

Azeri 10 / 130  
Apr 30, 2010   #2
You have many mistakes. I corrected some of them, but I am sure there are still some points that should be reviewed. Although I liked your reasons, the essay wholly looks unattractive, because a lot of word are repeated. Avoid reiteration, by using synonyms. Pay addition to sentence formation as well.
OP shalini singh 14 / 23  
Apr 30, 2010   #3
Thanks Azeri for your valuable comments on my essay.
I will surely take in to account your suggestions.
Azeri 10 / 130  
May 1, 2010   #4
You are welcome! Hope they will help!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
May 1, 2010   #5
Usually we say "the"

The United States of America is ...

The United States of America is considered to be one of the strongest among other the nations of the world in respect to developments and economic strength.

Other countries, like Chi na, Japan and India, are ...

In spite of having one of the best education systems and schools in the world, we are ...

America depends on highly skilled workers of other nations to do their jobs. Moreover, most of the skilled jobs are taken by people from outside of the country. Why do we depend on these other nation skilled people for our skilled jobs? People don't want get into higher education. We concentrate more on privacy and having fun in life by enjoying each and every moment. On the other hand these skilled workers of other nations get an higher education to work hard to compete in t...

Eventually We want to sit back and be a spectators, and we don't want to work hard to compete with in this competitive world. We feel confident that we are quite versed economically and have already developed, so we think we can effort getting afford to have our work done by others.

This essay makes me think of the word "complacency." If you don't know that word, you should google it now, because it is what this essay is about.

Great job! I hope you understand the corrections!
OP shalini singh 14 / 23  
May 3, 2010   #6
Thanks kevin for the help you and others are rendering me by correcting my mistakes. I feel this site is really helping me a lot !

Thank you guys
Shalini
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
May 4, 2010   #7
For a nice style, use another dash like this:
U.S. is becoming a nation of spectators--people who prefer to sit back and observe -- rather than a nation of doers.
If you use 2 dashes, it will be clearer for the reader. It clarifies what 2 things you are contrasting.

Th word "despite" is probably better than "in spite of"
In spite of Despite having one of the best ...

I don't like "compete in this competitive"
Eventually, we want to sit back and be a spectator, and we don't want to work hard to compete with in this competitive world.

:-)


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