Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 8


'Center for Talented Youth' - Common App - how a summer camp changed my life



FlyingNimbus 1 / 1  
Nov 30, 2011   #1
Six weeks. The equivalent of one and a half months, an eighth of a year. If my life was an hour, CTY would have lasted for less than a minute. And yet, what a minute.

I was unsure what Johns Hopkins' Center for Talented Youth (CTY) summer program would be like. It was a three week program where qualified kids came together to study a subject of their choice. I first heard about the camp through a letter by CTY's Talent Search in eighth grade, and then from a family friend. My parents encouraged me to take the SAT, which was required to enter the program. I met the requirements, and off I went to Loyola Marymount University. Then, time flew.

Two sessions, only two years, the same exact site. I lived life. Two lives in fact. I tasted the sweetness of life's most magnificent experiences ï freedom, but I also tasted the bitter consequences that life guarantees ï an end. I remember Loyola Marymount as one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to. There, I learned how to make friendship bracelets; there I learned how to cloud watch; there I watched the sunrise with my best friends. I met a new second family there, consisting of individuals from both years. It seemed like a fantasy, but I assured myself that this was real, all too real. Before I knew it, my time at CTY ran out. After my last three weeks, I said goodbye with tears and promises.

Someone once told me that CTY was a world without problems. That just is not true. CTY certainly has its problems ï after all, we are all humans and we make mistakes. CTY was not a paradise; rather, it was a world where all the problems have solutions. It was a world where individuals bonded together to tackle what seemed the impossible. Whether it be a pointless task of drawing faces on Styrofoam cups or an intellectual debate on the accuracy of a premise in the string theory, my fellow peers and I gave it our all, and was respected for it. Looking back, CTY was not unique because of where I was or what snacks I ate at midnight, but because of the intellectuals who surrounded me, the experiences with them, and pursuing knowledge with them. I was not alone.

The most important lesson that I realized at CTY was to never be alone, to seek others, and, most importantly, appreciate life. And so, through my high school years, I did just that. I committed myself to a demanding curriculum so that I could be surrounded by intellectuals like those that I laughed with, those that I cried with, and those that I loved at CTY. I may not know what my profession will be or if I will ever understand string theory, but one thing I know for sure is true: surround yourself with the right people and there will be no bounds to what we can achieve.

aneres23 1 / 4  
Nov 30, 2011   #2
It is a good essay there!
OP FlyingNimbus 1 / 1  
Nov 30, 2011   #3
Thanks! Is there anything you think I might want to change?
aripeters17 4 / 10  
Nov 30, 2011   #4
Really great essay! Only one thing that I would change. Instead of saying "there, I learned how to make friendship bracelets; there I learned how to cloud watch; there I watched the sunrise with my best friends." I would say "there, I watched the sunrise with my best friends, watched the clouds, and learned how to make frienship bracelets."
lee235717 - / 16  
Dec 14, 2011   #5
Great essay. I was impressed. I would agree with arianna that you need to change that one portion.
pothepanda3 3 / 5  
Dec 15, 2011   #6
i like the essay. love the starting and the ending setences. though i dont think they flow with the passage. like they're beautiful sentences but really dont flow when put in the essay due to the general different tone of the essay.
Guest /  
Dec 20, 2011   #7
Hello there fellow CTYer:) I don't know if this is too late since you posted this last month, but here goes.

The third paragraph seems unnecessary to the essence of the essay; I know how tempting it is to write about the unforgettable activities you did at CTY but I think you should elaborate more on how it changed your life. Specify an incident where you felt that you were finally surrounded by the right people - maybe during a class discussion, maybe the time you talked to your friends about something that was concerning you and finally realizing that you weren't alone. And perhaps mention a bit about how you were before CTY, so that we can see how your personal growth. I think the ending is great, it showed that instead of succumbing to PCTYD, you applied what you learnt from CTY in real life. (not that adcoms would know about PCTYD, but whatever)

I like your style of writing too, and of course, I don't notice any grammatical mistakes. I agree with arianna about that part. And actually, I think the essay is already great as it is. But maybe it's just me since it's about CTY. Well, hope I helped:) Good luck, and comment on my essays too please!
mc52 4 / 14  
Dec 20, 2011   #8
I really like how you managed to turn a common app essay into an elegant and flowing experience. I like the idea you're going for. Maybe you should try explaining less about what activities you did at the camp, explain how those activities have influenced you or changed you according to the title of your essay.

please help with mine :)


Home / Undergraduate / 'Center for Talented Youth' - Common App - how a summer camp changed my life
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳