Challenges faced in a foreign land ; UCF Common App

If there has been some obstacle or bump in the road in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.

It was on the summer of my fourteenth year that my short life took an unexpected turn. From being a confident girl living in her hometown to become a foreigner was an idea that completely terrified me. At the first years of puberty, most girls are busy thinking about school and talking with their girlfriends, while instead, I was preparing to say goodbye to my best friends and start wondering how my future would be like in the U.S, because I knew it wasn't going to be easy.

During my first year living in Miami, school was something I wasn't very comfortable with, this was mainly because the educational system in my old school was completely different to the one in my new school. For me, to be placed as a freshman in a different and unexplored setting, made my process of getting accustomed to school very difficult and unpleasant.

Language was one of the most difficult obstacles that hindered my ability to meet new people and take AP classes. But after knowing the various possibilities high school students have to start getting involved in college, I really wanted to improve my basic English, because language was not going to stop from what I wanted, which was to challenge myself.

I love challenges, even if I feel scared or not confident enough I still do my best, because it is better to try and learn something than do nothing and learn nothing. That is why on my sophomore year in high school I decided to go to School for Advanced Studies. I was terrified and nervous because it was a new experience for me. To go to college instead of a regular high school, and only take AP, honors, and college classes is quite a challenge for almost any high school student.

Now, as a senior, I look back and realize that the obstacles that I had to face really changed me. I am very thankful that my assimilation into a new culture was no easy because these "bumps in the road" truly helped me to become a student able to manage my time, be more responsible, and most importantly, to experience college while in high school, something I wouldn't be able to do back in my country.

Please help me improve this essay :D I will be forever thankful

thank you so much :) this really helped me !

.... this second part is not very clear.... it's good if you specifically say what difficulties you encountered. This does not reveal much information as to what bothered you.

During my first year living in Miami, I was not at all comfortable with the my school. First, the education system and curriculum had vast differences from what my home country offered. Second, as a freshman in a total unknown setting I encountered with very unpleasant experiences.


.... I feel you should first talk about language problem. Then you should tell the other idea.
English was the main barrier and I was soon convinced that I had no other choice but to make all efforts to improve my English knowledge in order to survive as well as thrive in my academics.

You can even say this gave you an opportunity to know yourself better. I mean, you were put on test with so many challenges and you somehow faced them all bravely and finally succeeded. If you like this idea, you can say something like this;

Although I was confused and scared at the beginning, I never let challenges let pass by without facing them. Though nervous, in my sophomore year I took the bold decision to attend college for Advanced Studies instead of attending a regular high school. My decision paid me off giving me an opportunity to know my strengths better.