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"I Am Chanadian" - NYU App



GraceTaylorWei 12 / 41  
Dec 27, 2011   #1
The crisp Vancouver air smelled like fresh pine of the Rocky Mountains and sea salt from the Pacific ocean. As I walked along the cobblestone street, I felt more in touch with my culture than anywhere else. "I don't want to learn Chinese!" the 9-year-old me protested against my grandfather. As a child, I was often desperate to break free from the world that restrained me from being "truly Canadian". Over the years, I've come to realize that culture has given me the depth of personal history, a strong cultural community, and the legacy of persistence and courage. My Chinese-Canadian ancestors had built most of the Canadian Pacific Railway in British Columbia that stretched across the continent and unified the country. British Columbia was where the first Chinese settlers arrived in Canada, and it is where they stayed to make an indelible mark on Canada's culture.

Walking along the pier, I was compelled to stop in my tracks by the 12 foot mosaic on the side of a building. It was composed of square paintings, each depicting a different culture in Canada. Immediately, I noticed the square depicting a Chinese family by the pier with their boat; their faces were stern but hopeful as they gazed into their new horizon. I thought about the Chinese-Canadians who've endured adversity and hardship to pave the way for my generation. I walked away from the mosaic with my head held high and the wind on my back, hopeful that their indefatigable spirit is in me as well.

Guest /  
Dec 27, 2011   #2
Hm...in the last sentence, the word "indefatigable" doesn't really seem to fit in with the simple and profound meaning of the essay...or that could just be me. It just sounds awkward, I guess.
karissa_a16 4 / 94  
Dec 27, 2011   #3
I agree about the indefatigable thing. other than that it's good.
makman09 9 / 86  
Dec 27, 2011   #4
I like the title. It's not clever, but it's humorous.
You answer the prompt and display the significance of the land to you. It's strong, and I'm, to be honest, impressed.

Just one thing that I would do is expand more on the significance of the land to you with one more sentence at the ending. I suggest this so the essay can an accurate picture of your personality

Other than that, your essay is strong.

Could my Cornell Human Ecology Essay a read?
OP GraceTaylorWei 12 / 41  
Dec 27, 2011   #5
Thanks everyone! @Mustafa: absolutely!

Would "tenacity" or "grit" be a better word for "indefatigable spirit"?

"Hopeful that their grit is a part of me"


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