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'Changing people's lives' - Community Service- Synthesis Essay


tiger31twin 4 / 7  
Feb 19, 2010   #1
My assignment was to write a synthesis essay on community service and I'm not too sure on what a synthesis essay is so please help me:)

Briana Prince
Period 2,AP English
February 22, 2010
Community Service: Synthesis Essay
Community services is a very important voluntary activity that should be mandatory at all schools. Although it is an oxymoron, most students do not know whether they should be a volunteer or not because they do not know what volunteering can do for their community and for themselves. Three sources that help support mandatory community service are: From Millennials Rising- Neil Hoe and William Strauss, Community Service Mission Statement- The Dalton School, and Volunteer Work Opens Teen's Eyes to Nursing. Community service can be extremely valuable in the development of both character and academics for the individuals who participate.

According to Neil Howe and William Strauss, From Millennials Rising, community service offered in schools has increased from seventeen to eighty-three percent from 1984 to 1993. Community service is a project that all schools should require students to be apart of. It teaches students responsibility and respect for their community, peers, elderly, and for themselves. Students being involved in their community encourages them to do more, make friends, and possibly make a difference in somebody's life. They would be giving back to their community and also be educated in a way no teacher or parent could ever teach.

I agree with the Community Service Mission Statement by the Dalton School when they say "Community service situates our moral center; it teachers us through experience-about the relationship between empathy and responsibility about what it takes to be part of a community, in essence, about being human." Community service is very important; it gives students the opportunity to explore life and see the world in a different way. Volunteering could open the eyes of many students to the real world before they have to step out of high school. It would help students make better choices. Keeping students involved in community activities can keep students from doing the wrong things such as: gang violence, school shootings, and drugs. Many students could learn how to be apart of a group and be involved in activities that help their community and environment. Community service can change the lives of those who are lonely and need someone to talk to and those who just need a friend. Getting all students involved in their community could eliminate gangs, violence, and diversity (racism).

Being apart of community service can change the lives of many people. In the Detroit News, April 16, 2005 there was a headline titled "Volunteer Work Opens Teen's Eyes to Nursing." It was about a thirteen-year-old boy named John Prueter who would visit his great-grandmother regularly when she was in the hospital. After she was transferred to Alterra Sterling House, an assisted-living home in Hampton Township, Prueter would also visit the other elderly people too. He helped them with whatever they needed help with and if there were nothing for him to do, he would sit and talk to them. Many students could learn from John Prueter's experience because volunteering with the elderly really changed his life. If more people were to be like John Prueter and volunteered at places, they might find how much they enjoy the work and it might change their lives too. Being involved in community service activities can change a student's attitude toward situations and life in general. It can make students realize that life is not just about having fun or making money, it is also about making a difference in someone's life and maybe even your own.

Community service is a very important subject that can change many people's lives. There are many ways students can volunteer in their community, whether it is helping with the elderly, reading to children, or volunteering at a pet shelter. Community service is something that is worthwhile and should be mandatory at all schools.

meisj0n 8 / 272 2  
Feb 19, 2010   #2
Although it is an oxymoron,

While it may seem an*
Iono. I like your way of writing, it's ..i guess different. I feel like changing parts, but much of it is good as is. One thing I did notice was that you mention community service should be mandatory. however, adding the volunteering part confuses the issue a bit. either say that com. serv. should be emphasized more and leave in the volunteering. or take out volunteering and just mention the community service. You're placing com. serv. and volunteering side by side and saying they are the same. yet i don't think they exactly are. you could add that voluntary com. serv. is even better, and shows personal growth/motivation/etc... but iono..i'm having a difficult time connecting them, maybe because I worked with people doing mandatory com. serv because they were on probation (not the same, at all) I do agree with your points though, about com. serv.

teachers us

teaches* make sure you quote accurately. i think you missed a comma somewhere

how to be apart of a group

a part*

Getting all students involved in their community could eliminate gangs, violence, and diversity (racism).

Having all* sounds a bit better, how do u eliminate diversity :? this is a strong statement, maybe nice it down a bit by adding could help eliminate*?

In the Detroit News, April 16, 2005 there was a headline titled "Volunteer Work Opens Teen's Eyes to Nursing." It was about a thirteen-year-old boy named John Prueter who would visit his great-grandmother regularly when she was in the hospital. After she was transferred to Alterra Sterling House, an assisted-living home in Hampton Township, Prueter would also visit the other elderly people too. He helped them with whatever they needed help with and if there were nothing for him to do, he would sit and talk to them.

maybe shorten this news summary to point out the main ideas. just a funny thought: not all of us teenagers have grandmothers in a hospital. you should try to lead away from his example and lead it to more pertinent points for the general public

If more people were to be like John Prueter and volunteered at places,

so here you could replace "at places" with a main point from the summary, something like: and volunteered their time with the community...<sounds better:?>

they might find how much they enjoy the work and it might change their lives too.

use a dash instead of the "and" here, it makes it a stronger sentence.

Being involved in community service activities can change a student's attitude toward situations and life in general. It can make students realize that life is not just about having fun or making money, it is also about making a difference in someone's life and maybe even your own.

sounds somewhat repetitive of the previous sentence. you drag on the life attitude changes for these three sentences :/ true points though

Community service is a very important subject

activity* not subject, yea?

There are many ways students can volunteer in their community, whether it is helping with the elderly, reading to children, or volunteering at a pet shelter.

here it sounds somewhat extended of your previous paragraphs somewhere up there. and your last sentence, is also repeat :/
some ideas for a stronger, more synthesized conclusion would be to talk about the generalities of com. serv. and say that in light of these benefits of such activities, schools should make this worthwhile opportunity a mandatory one. Here you can mention the oxymoron statement and make a concluding statement of how com. serv could be voluntary, but the positive results outweigh the negative impacts, if any. Moreover, etc...you could keep going.

great ideas. as for the synthesis prompt, I think you cover only one aspect of this issue :? you don't exactly synthesize two ideas. or maybe you did. im not sure. :/ synthesis usually means a pro and a con and then a resulting better solution/compromise. maybe you could add in a little something about how while com. serv. should be voluntary, it should be made mandatory. you say something like this, but make it clear. the major portion of the essay would be the synthesis I guess. I liked reading through this. maybe I'll go out and do something. hope your teacher likes your paper.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Feb 20, 2010   #3
I don't see an oxymoron involved here:
Although it is an oxymoron, most students do not know whether they should be a volunteer or not because they do not know what volunteering can do for their community and for themselves.----maybe I am missing something obvious, but doesn't an oxymoron have to be like "jumbo shrimp" and "athletic scholarship"

Great advice here...

Also, I was thinking that you should challenge yourself to use the term "community service" in the first and last paragraph, but not anywhere in the body paragraphs. I can't explain why, though! It makes a more sophisticated essay if you don't refer to the topic too many times.

:-)
meisj0n 8 / 272 2  
Feb 21, 2010   #4
Oxymoron in that she suggests making a voluntary action mandatory
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Feb 22, 2010   #5
Thanks, Jon, I was having a slow-thinking time, I think!


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