There are thousands of universities and colleges. Please share with us why you are choosing to apply to Chapman. (200 words or fewer)
It was a continual pacing back and forth in my living room that was making Leia dizzy. I repeated the phrase so many times that my five year old niece began repeating after me, just to mock me. Leia repeated after me:
"Why Chapman?"
"Because I want to go there," I responded.
"But whyyy?"
"Because... Because it is small. They are known for being like a tight community. The professors actually care about their students."
"Why?"
"Because Chapman wants to globalize their students."
"What's that?"
"They want their students to make a difference. I can go to other countries and help women and girls, many just like you, to involve themselves into politics and things like that. To fight for their rights and help change policies in other countries so women can have a voice." The idea of joining the Department of World Languages and Cultures pops into my head and I smile and for the last time Leia asks,
"But why Chapman?"
"Because, Leia, it's close enough to home, and super close to Disneyland."
"...I like that school," she ended.
(181)
So obviously I have not finished. I just want to know if it is on the right track? Is it a nice format? I wanted to do something different. My little niece gave me the inspiration when she got annoyed with me saying the same thing over again that she began repeating what I was saying.
I have a good amount of room to add and improve since I am only at 181. So any suggestions help :)
Haha, I like this approach! I'm always open to unique formats because that's what I did with my common app essay.
Anywhoo,
It was a continual pacing back and forth in my living room that was making Leia dizzy. I repeated the phrase so many times that my five year old niece began repeating after me, just to mock me. Leia repeated after me:
Originally, I wanted to revise the first sentence, but then I wondered if you could just take out the first sentence and start with ""I repeated the phrase"... because even if you do revist the 1st sentence, there is little to no transition between those two sentences, making the essay abrupt.
Your newest addition certainly helped; I can see just how passionate you are for this particular program.
Overall, nice job! Funny, yet completely responds to the prompt.
Hi!
I think that this is a very interesting essay, and is really fun to read. I think its really creative how you have chosen to write your essay in the form of dialogue, and it fits the prompt nicely.
However, I would suggest that you consdier elaborating on this part:
""Because... Because it is small. They are known for being like a tight community. The professors actually care about their students."
"Why?"
"Because Chapman wants to globalize their students."
"What's that?"
"They want their students to make a difference."
Does a small school where professors care about their students necessarily equate to being globalized and wanting their students to make a differnece? Could you talk a bit more about how the two ideas connect? Or maybe its just that I don't see the connection that is there.
But overall, great work!
I like your approach to this prompt. But I suggest that you can mention specific program that you interest in (e.g. course, professor...).
I think you should concentrate less on diolgue but more on the specific programs at chapman that apply to you and a more succinct fashion
Chapman University: I do not know where to go.
I am having a lot of trouble on this essay. I don't even know if I really answered the prompt correctly. Pleas Help!!!
Chapman University was founded with a commitment to Four Pillars. Each Pillar represents a core value and they are a source of pride for the Chapman community. They are Intellectual, Physical, Social, and Spiritual. Pick the Pillar that means the most to you and tell us how it relates to your life. (200 words or fewer)
Attempt #1:
Luna was a little orca whale found on the coast of Vancouver Island, British Columbia who had been separated from his family. He spent much of his free time trying to make contact with humans and become their friend. That was the keyword: "friend."
Luna cared for nothing more than friendship. I often compare myself to this whale. I may not be a part of a family that really considers itself a family, but I try to find one in friendship. High school students often have trouble separating work life from personal life. Other teenagers around me losing their minds over loads of school work, and I do as well. I often have to stop and remind myself that there's one thing I have that can calm me down, and those are my friends. We help each other on work and comfort each other when the stress levels pass 100. Many try to tell us that our friends do not last. Even if this is so, should we not cherish the time we have? What is the point of knowing so much about government or calculus if we cannot spread our knowledge with others? We can only teach if we learn and we can only learn if we listen and experience. When one of us struggles, we help each other out when school becomes a vision of impossibilities.
Though many researchers said that it was dangerous for Luna to have too much human contact, many of the locals that had become his friends would still visit him. He taught so many people the power of friendship. It is a lesson I hope to remember when times are tough: I have my family and friends to keep me going.
Attempt #2:
I am a seventeen year old girl with two Hispanic parents living in Los Angeles. While growing up, I did not spend much time outside since my parents were very protective and scared that I might one day be kidnapped. Most of time was spent indoors, mainly watching Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. This was the reason I never really got upset with my parents not letting me have much freedom- I had seen the dangers through television. What I realized, though, was that a bunch of us kids are under the careful eye of our parent's watch, yet no one really addresses the issue and no one teaches young people about it; the real issue of sexual assault and harassment.
Whenever the word "rape" comes up, people tend to stand back and change the subject, yet on a daily basis I hear boys saying "I am so going to rape ______!" We as girls are often told to just keep our heads down, walk in a straight line, and hope nothing we are wearing is too revealing so we might not attract predators. The issue I see is that many young people are not properly educated on the issue. We do not hear about it often, and many cases are not even taken seriously, so there is a stigma that it is not a big issue, but it is. This is why I can tie myself closely with the (Social, Intellectual) Pillar...
So I could go with either pillar: Intellectual and talking about education and how I am aware on the issue. Or social since it is more of a social issue. What direction should I go in?
Should I go with either of these essays? Or should I scratch them both? Please, I need a savior right now.
If you want to go with the Social pillar go with the attempt 1, although it needs a lot work. I cannot fully understand the whale comparison. I think you should elaborate on the looseness of your family and how that forced you to turn to your friends. Share a specific example if you have to.
