Hey guys. This is my common app essay and i would be grateful if you guys could give some advice about the essay or how i could improve it. Thanks :)
Prompt "Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story."
My essay:-
"The first time I was introduced to chess was on my 6th birthday. My aunt gave me a chess board as a gift and the moment I got it I put it right next to the gifts I was never going to use. With all the summer vacations to enjoy by playing fifa and cricket, I was going to have the best time of my life. Soon I was bored of playing fifa on my PS2; I went to my room and started looking for stuff I could have fun with. I found a box in my cupboard, covered with dust and torn plastic on the front. I took it out, dusted it off and went to the lounge with the box. "Chess for children above 5 years", were the words on the top of the box. I opened the box and threw the pieces on the table. A boy who just turned six was naturally going to be attracted to the horse like piece and so I was. I was playing with the pieces on the table, smashing them with each other when my father said, "that's a knight"." That's not a knight. A knight wears armor and carries a lance. This is just a horse"." In chess, we call this piece a knight and there's the white bishop. A bishop moves diagonally while the knight moves in an L shape." By the end of our conversation, not only did I know all the basic rules of chess, but also I knew how to place those pieces on the board.
I didn't really develop a strong interest in chess, only playing a game or two with my father whenever we found time, until I watched a documentary about the finest chess player who ever lived- Bobby Fischer. I was amazed and awestruck after I watched his documentary. Bobby Fischer had a tough childhood and the chess board was a place where he could find peace and solemn. I wanted to do the same. The 1972 chess championship match between Boriss Spassky and Bobby Fischer truly inspired me to play chess more regularly. After this, I always had a chess board on my table and I would play anyone whom I got the chance to play with. It wasn't about winning or losing for me- it was about the hour I spent learning how to think like a chess master. I was hungry for chess. My father noticed my increasing interest in chess and thus gave me his old chess book, "Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess". I would go through sleepless nights to learn his moves and practice them on either myself or my father. When I started to beat my father in chess, I knew I had to move on to improve myself as a player. I would go to the local library and borrow any or all chess books I could find. Now I play chess on a regular basis, if not with my father or friends, I turn on the computer and play with aspiring chess masters from all around the world on chess . com. Whenever I have the time I go to chess forums to give back to chess what I learned from it. I recommend people chess books, inspire them by stories of great chess players and answer their queries. Every day I open the games section of the newspaper and solve the chess problem. I can't imagine living my life without chess.
My passion for chess directly translates to my passion for mathematics and physics. Chess has made me realize that knowledge is power, and since then my thirst for learning has only increased. My interest in mathematics and physics is primarily related to chess, because chess has taught me to think logically. In chess, I persist until I find a possible checkmate from hundreds of complicated moves. Thinking ahead of my opponents, persisting till I find a breakthrough, applying logic to a question and most importantly immersing myself into something I love are the qualities which reflect directly on my personality. In chess they say that if you can control the central part of the board, then you have a great chance of winning. Being a part of an undergraduate program is a central part of my life, and I hope to absorb all the knowledge I can from your university to succeed in the future."
Prompt "Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story."
My essay:-
"The first time I was introduced to chess was on my 6th birthday. My aunt gave me a chess board as a gift and the moment I got it I put it right next to the gifts I was never going to use. With all the summer vacations to enjoy by playing fifa and cricket, I was going to have the best time of my life. Soon I was bored of playing fifa on my PS2; I went to my room and started looking for stuff I could have fun with. I found a box in my cupboard, covered with dust and torn plastic on the front. I took it out, dusted it off and went to the lounge with the box. "Chess for children above 5 years", were the words on the top of the box. I opened the box and threw the pieces on the table. A boy who just turned six was naturally going to be attracted to the horse like piece and so I was. I was playing with the pieces on the table, smashing them with each other when my father said, "that's a knight"." That's not a knight. A knight wears armor and carries a lance. This is just a horse"." In chess, we call this piece a knight and there's the white bishop. A bishop moves diagonally while the knight moves in an L shape." By the end of our conversation, not only did I know all the basic rules of chess, but also I knew how to place those pieces on the board.
I didn't really develop a strong interest in chess, only playing a game or two with my father whenever we found time, until I watched a documentary about the finest chess player who ever lived- Bobby Fischer. I was amazed and awestruck after I watched his documentary. Bobby Fischer had a tough childhood and the chess board was a place where he could find peace and solemn. I wanted to do the same. The 1972 chess championship match between Boriss Spassky and Bobby Fischer truly inspired me to play chess more regularly. After this, I always had a chess board on my table and I would play anyone whom I got the chance to play with. It wasn't about winning or losing for me- it was about the hour I spent learning how to think like a chess master. I was hungry for chess. My father noticed my increasing interest in chess and thus gave me his old chess book, "Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess". I would go through sleepless nights to learn his moves and practice them on either myself or my father. When I started to beat my father in chess, I knew I had to move on to improve myself as a player. I would go to the local library and borrow any or all chess books I could find. Now I play chess on a regular basis, if not with my father or friends, I turn on the computer and play with aspiring chess masters from all around the world on chess . com. Whenever I have the time I go to chess forums to give back to chess what I learned from it. I recommend people chess books, inspire them by stories of great chess players and answer their queries. Every day I open the games section of the newspaper and solve the chess problem. I can't imagine living my life without chess.
My passion for chess directly translates to my passion for mathematics and physics. Chess has made me realize that knowledge is power, and since then my thirst for learning has only increased. My interest in mathematics and physics is primarily related to chess, because chess has taught me to think logically. In chess, I persist until I find a possible checkmate from hundreds of complicated moves. Thinking ahead of my opponents, persisting till I find a breakthrough, applying logic to a question and most importantly immersing myself into something I love are the qualities which reflect directly on my personality. In chess they say that if you can control the central part of the board, then you have a great chance of winning. Being a part of an undergraduate program is a central part of my life, and I hope to absorb all the knowledge I can from your university to succeed in the future."
