Hi, I really need your comments on my chicago essays! I rushed to write these and I know there will be many grammatical errors and awkward phrases.
You can comment on one of the essays or on both, I will greatly appreciate any comments. Thanks!
Extended essay
Essay Option 2
The late-eighteenth-century popular philosopher and cultural critic George Lichtenberg wrote, "Just as we outgrow a pair of trousers, we outgrow acquaintances, libraries, principles, etc. at times before they're worn out and at times-and this is worst of all-before we have new ones." Write an essay about something you have outgrown, perhaps before you had a replacement-a friend, a political philosophy, a favorite author, or anything that has had an influence on you. What, if anything, has taken its place?
When I thought of a modern day chemist, I had often visualized a smartly gowned scientist with the famous Einstein's hair- concocting cures with a swishing air of professionalism. He would perform alchemy like a magician, surrounded by immaculate laboratory facilities. Mechanical perfection would be accompanied with his marvelous execution, which he easily enjoys and prides. Growing up, this romantic image of a genius chemist would slowly dissolve, but his easy grace would remain rooted in my imagination. I was still engrossed with the idea of a scientist's laidback expertise, and at the heart of my professional goal there was this vein of superficial desire that one day I would demonstrate my own mastery with the same effortless elegance.
At last, my fantasy came to an end- in the very professional environment that I so desired. I was standing in the middle of a laboratory in WithPals Pharmaceutical Company, quite unable to hear the gurgling noise of water aspirator or smell the pungent aroma of toluene. All of my senses were directed towards absorbing Dr.Hong's instructions for Acyloin condensation experiment. Frantic scribbling down of diagrams and notes began, and confusion reigned as steps were mingled within my racing brain. Feeling rather helpless, I asked for the second time if I could please hear the directions again. Dr.Hong, the chief executive of the company, would grant the favor and then say, rather emphatically, "You must think all along. Think!" Now where was the easy grace?
Working as a laboratory intern 7 hours per day for 6 weeks during last summer, I realized that there was no easy professionalism in any "professional" experiment. The long and difficult research theses often rendered me scratching my head in agony. The equations were complex, and the heavy, delicate apparatus needed extreme care. Experimental procedure was tedious, and my mind and body were constantly running to catch up on reaction pathways. But what shook my juvenile fantasy the most was the fact that the doctors also struggled in their experiments. They tenaciously observed and waited to yield a few grams of a desired product. They could fail their experiments- the product could be contaminated, or there could be a scale-up error, and they started all over again. Yet they kept on working until the fruit of their endeavor emerged. From their tenacity, I truly began to appreciate a chemical experiment not as a show of mastery but as a serious intellectual quest. It required solid foundation of theories and principles, to go beyond outward observations of things to understand the nature's inner working. Thoughts had to be processed and modified constantly during the procedure- to always know and manipulate what was going on in reactions. Above all, purpose was what mattered; "Aim," did not come first in every laboratory report for no reason. It was from this clear awareness of what to achieve, and resolute incentive to bring forth beneficial ends, that scientific work, discovery or synthesis alike, commenced. My passion re-ignited. I was determined to apply science for practical outcomes, even though it meant a lot of studying, repeated trials and waiting. My vain assumption was replaced by a new determination, and with this I was going to pursue my old goal to be a chemist.
Now back at home, I recall my chemical ventures in that small laboratory. I remember my awe at how knowledge could be backtracked, when I recognized organic functional groups I learnt in my high school labeled on bottles of chemicals. I remember my disappointment when my 5 days struggle against Acyloin condensation ended up as a failure due to a scale-up error. Above all, I clearly remember my excitement upon seeing tiny, still wet crystals harvested into reality within a rotating flask, after hours of spin-bar stirring and rotary evaporation. This memory I treasure the most, for it is a reward for my passionate endurance, and an amusing reminder of the childish expectation I have outgrown.
When I thought of a modern day chemist, I had often visualized a smartly-gowned scientist with the famous hair like Einstein's, concocting cures with a swishing air of professionalism. S/he would perform...
This is some great material here! Great writing.
At last, my fantasy came to an end -- and its ending took place in the very professional environment that I so desired.
I remember my disappointment when my five-day struggle against Acyloin condensation ended up as a failure due to a scale-up error. Above all, I clearly remember my excitement...
...upon seeing tiny, still-wet crystals harvested into reality within a...
or
...upon seeing tiny, still wet crystals harvested into reality within a...
