G4L 1 / - Jan 7, 2011 #1Hey, This is just the Intro to my essay & I really need feedback I don't have anybody to help me ..Please and Thank You! :)"I didn't choose Photography, Photography chose me"-Gerardo Suter. How does photography chose you?. Well photography chose me at the young age of eleven. A Fashion magazine came in the mail, just like any other curious child it sparked my interest. From the first page to the last I was in awe amazement at the photographs. In that moment the only thing that came to mind was "Where's mom's camera and how can I create these imagines of my own"
omm13 2 / 6 Jan 7, 2011 #2I am not native speaker. I found some error in your essay.First, tense error. In 2nd sentence, how does ------ chose ( it must be choose; maybe typing error). You should describe name of fashion magazine. You should also reword that sentence.
MJA 2 / 7 Jan 10, 2011 #3Starting with a personal story is a great start, especially if you are talking about your passion. Personal stories really help readers connect to your essay and maintain interest. You can delve into the more boring academic parts later. Please post your essay prompt so I can get a better idea of where your essay might go.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12 Jan 18, 2011 #4A Fashion fashion magazine came in the mail; just like any other curious child, I experienced sparked interest. ---I had to change some words around... IT was not just like any curious child; you did something, not "it."From the first page to the last I was in awe and amazement at the photographs. In that moment the only thing that came to mind was, "Where's mom's camera and how can I create these imagines of my own? ":-)
