Give my two essays some comments please, especially about their grammar mistakes and ideas. Deadline is coming so fast T_T. Thank you all a lot ^^.
Please tell us why you are interested in Wheaton (Characters available 1000):
"For Christ and His Kingdom" - This expression caught my eye at first sight although I am not Christian nor am I religious. Personally, I have always believed in "a God somewhere". Despite not even knowing his name, that belief is itself a great power to me, which has given me helpfulness towards anyone in need, confidence when talking exams, and honesty in every word I say. Belief drives my life with its own rules which are even more powerful that disciplines and laws. It teaches me things that even the best-sellers cannot tell. And that is why Wheaton's coordination between religion and education is amazing to me.
At Wheaton, there is not a concept of the conflicts between science and spiritualness considering its perfect Mathematics and Chemistry courses. With a commitment to building the church and improving society world-wide, the massive international opportunities and the best campus food in the USA, Wheaton is the place where I really want to be in my coming unforgettable years.
Optional Essay
Discuss briefly an area of academic interest or a contemporary issue you hope to explore in college. Why is this of interest to you? (Characters available 1200)
Months ago, a schoolmate of mine collapsed from a serious fever. Due to the lack of doctor's advices, she was not brought to the hospital until worrisome symptoms like convulsions and delirium started to appear. However, that fever would not have been fatal if her family was not poor. The treatment to the girl was delayed for hours before consequently lasting for two months without any positive result. And since one week ago, a girl who should now be going to school has begun her vegetable existence at the age of seventeen.
The tragic ending of such a story has strengthened my desire to become a great physician in the future. If finding out a treatment for cancer is the dream of many medical students, doctors and scientists, I am more interested in another direction: to produce cheaper drugs and treatments. All over the world, in my home country or in Africa, in USA or in Haiti, health care is out of reach for many people. And day by day, those people are undeservedly losing their lives to ordinary diseases. To my belief, although reducing the price of an aspirin bottle from 6$ to 3$ may not bring me a Nobel prize, it would bring many people all over the world another chance, to live.
Please tell us why you are interested in Wheaton (Characters available 1000):
"For Christ and His Kingdom" - This expression caught my eye at first sight although I am not Christian nor am I religious. Personally, I have always believed in "a God somewhere". Despite not even knowing his name, that belief is itself a great power to me, which has given me helpfulness towards anyone in need, confidence when talking exams, and honesty in every word I say. Belief drives my life with its own rules which are even more powerful that disciplines and laws. It teaches me things that even the best-sellers cannot tell. And that is why Wheaton's coordination between religion and education is amazing to me.
At Wheaton, there is not a concept of the conflicts between science and spiritualness considering its perfect Mathematics and Chemistry courses. With a commitment to building the church and improving society world-wide, the massive international opportunities and the best campus food in the USA, Wheaton is the place where I really want to be in my coming unforgettable years.
Optional Essay
Discuss briefly an area of academic interest or a contemporary issue you hope to explore in college. Why is this of interest to you? (Characters available 1200)
Months ago, a schoolmate of mine collapsed from a serious fever. Due to the lack of doctor's advices, she was not brought to the hospital until worrisome symptoms like convulsions and delirium started to appear. However, that fever would not have been fatal if her family was not poor. The treatment to the girl was delayed for hours before consequently lasting for two months without any positive result. And since one week ago, a girl who should now be going to school has begun her vegetable existence at the age of seventeen.
The tragic ending of such a story has strengthened my desire to become a great physician in the future. If finding out a treatment for cancer is the dream of many medical students, doctors and scientists, I am more interested in another direction: to produce cheaper drugs and treatments. All over the world, in my home country or in Africa, in USA or in Haiti, health care is out of reach for many people. And day by day, those people are undeservedly losing their lives to ordinary diseases. To my belief, although reducing the price of an aspirin bottle from 6$ to 3$ may not bring me a Nobel prize, it would bring many people all over the world another chance, to live.