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The city I was born was nicknamed "The Motor City"; Why UT Engineering?



ky0106 1 / 1  
Nov 8, 2013   #1
What has inspired you to pursue an engineering degree and why would you like to study at the University of Toronto?
What skills have you developed through your extra-curricular experiences that will support your future success as both a student and an engineer?
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If there is really a thing called destiny, then mine must be tightly bound with cars from the very beginning.
The city I was born was nicknamed "The Motor City", for the first truck in China was made there. I could still remember seeing the bronze statue of the first truck of our country on my daily walk to school at the age of 7, and amazing at how big impact such a crude, massive piece of machinery has on this city. My whole family works in the auto industry, from mechanical engineers in the factory to accountants in auto 4S stores; everyone is more or less connected with cars.

Growing up in such environment, it's hard to not be fascinated by the strength and power of automobiles. The deafening roars of forceful engines, the sharp screech made by tires, these sounds could always adrenalize me immediately. Could you name one girl who doesn't have any Barbies but instead possess an array of mini race cars in her childhood? That girl was me.

Even now I still keep these race cars in my room, for I spent so much time assembling and upgrading them to compete with other kids' team in the community. These mini models reminds me not only the cheerful memories of winning through hard yet thrilling teamwork, but also the endeavor I put in perfecting every details of the race cars: adjusting the tightness of each aluminum roller, testing tiers made of different materials and polishing the body to reduce aero effect-though I didn't even know the word "aerodynamics" at that time. To me, these mini cars are more than just toys, they are my original dream. When being asked what I wanted to do in the future, I told everybody proudly "I want to be the best car-maker!"

Carrying this dream I entered middle school and high school where I'm exposed to math and physics to understand some application of basic science in the manufacturing of automobiles. I found myself eager to get a deeper and well-rounded understanding of all these scientific principles and their applications in life, so I believe an engineering degree is what I truly need to fulfill my curiosity as well as my childhood dream. Years of car racing experience has trained me to be patient and concentrated, which are important qualities an engineer should possess. And doing well in my secondary education provides me a solid foundation of knowledge that would assist me to be successful in the following study in the university.

University of Toronto fully represents what I believe a top university should be like: worldwide respected reputation, leading professors in various fields of studies, abundant library resources and well-equipped infrastructures. What's more, it's a vibrant school that encourages its students to let go of their enthusiasm and creativity not only academically but also personally. A vigorous university incorporated in the bustling metropolitan of Toronto which provides unlimited possibilities for young people is exactly where I'd love to spend my best years.

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Thank you for reading thru it. Any suggestion on grammar,vocab and paragraphing is greatly welcomed and appreciated! thanks for helping me out :)

keshav13579 2 / 6  
Nov 9, 2013   #2
I guess u should skip the last line. Quite contrarily appreciating the college in your essay sometimes works the other way around for some readers assume it to be buttering. I guess else the essay is fab. :)
mdevine33 - / 1  
Nov 9, 2013   #3
Could you name one girl who doesn't have any Barbies but instead possess an array of mini race cars in her childhood? That girl was me

Maybe here you can say: "While most little girls grow up dressing up and doing the hair of countless numbers of Barbies, I grew up playing with an array of mini race cars." or "Unlike most little girls who played with Barbies during their childhood, I grew up playing with an array of mini race cars."
OP ky0106 1 / 1  
Nov 12, 2013   #4
Thanks everyone for helping! I will definitely made some changes to this essay.


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