'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' + 'Bring a person' - NYU

soo i've found it extremely difficult to explain all the reasons I want to attend to NYU
but well that is not the problem here...English is not my first language so i would like people to please help me with any grammar error, and well tell me what they think about my responses...

PLEASE BE HARSH!
thanks!

Prompt 1 ( NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?)

I was born in Colombia, a nation struck with corrupt politicians and human rights violations. I want to study Political Science in NYUAD, since in a future I want to be part of a change that will help my country become a better place. As my school's SGA president, I understand the importance of leadership, exceptional education and engagement, traits most of our politicians do not count with, however NYUAD embodies them all in order to provide an education that will help me become a positive agent of change.

Prompt 2 ( NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?)

NYU is a challenge not many venture themselves in. It embodies the school's embrace for complex and often criticized cultures. Having grown in a conservative country like Colombia, studying at NYUAD represents a life changing experience I'm ready to embark on. It would enable me to challenge my beliefs, experience different ways of learning, and develop a broader conception of the world, thus making of me a more holistic being, able to provide a positive influence in my hermetic surroundings.

Prompt 3 (If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.)

Ten years ago my family had to abandon our farm due to death threats made to my father. Twelve years ago, Johan's father, a soldier whom he has never met, was captured and is now the longest-held hostage of the guerrilla. Things have started to change: my family is back in our farm and Johan travels around Colombia raising awareness of the forgotten hostages. Now, I would take him to my farm where I will show him my gratitude towards his family sacrifice and that is making our country a better place and assure him that as I got my farm back, we will soon meet his father.

THANKS!

Aside from the grammar issues; I liked the idea of your last prompt very much. Including your background in a prompt as an answer to such a question is impressive. But I think you should start with a more striking sentence, for it is a striking answer, that might even give a little clue about Libio Martinez and his life. I also think that in your reply. you should explain "I will thank and let him know.." more about your gratitude; and why would you not bring libio martinez himself to the place.

Good Luck

thank you so much!
I've made some changes in order to keep the word counting low, but im still struggling with that, especially in the last one.

Prompt 1
I was born in Colombia, a nation struck with corrupt politicians and human rights violations. I want to study Political Science in NYUAD, since in a future I want to be part of a change that will help my country become a better place. As my school's SGA president, I understand the importance of leadership, exceptional education and engagement, traits most of our politicians do not count with, however NYUAD embodies them all in order to provide an education that will help me become a positive agent of change.

Prompt 2
NYU is a challenge not many venture themselves in. It embodies the school's embrace for complex and often criticized cultures. Having grown in a conservative country like Colombia, studying at NYUAD represents a life changing experience I'm ready to embark on. It would enable me to challenge my beliefs, experience different ways of learning, and develop a broader conception of the world, thus making of me a more holistic being, able to provide a positive influence in my hermetic surroundings.

Prompt 3
Ten years ago my family had to abandon our farm due to death threats made to my father. Twelve years ago, Johan's father, a soldier whom he has never met, was captured and is now the longest-held hostage of the guerrilla. Things have started to change: my family is back in our farm and Johan travels around Colombia raising awareness of the forgotten hostages. Now, I would take him to my farm where I will show him my gratitude towards his family sacrifice and that is making our country a better place and assure him that as I got my farm back, we will soon meet his father.

NYU is a challenge into which not many venture.-----I fixed the grammar, but I still don't like this sentence. Many people do venture into NYU.

It embodies the school's embrace for complex and often criticized cultures. ----what embodies?

Very good sentence here: it would enable me to challenge my ...
impressive sentence.

I think you did a great job with prompt 3, too.

:-)

Hi! I'm also applying to NYU.
I don't understand why you want to keep the word count low because on the application there is enough room for 500 word per essay. So I would write at least 250 words per essay.

Also make sure which campus you are applying to: the one in New York City or the one in Abu Dhabi.

Your ideas are great but you need to write way more (details). Remember the admissions office wants to know more about you; what makes you stand out(very important), what your interests and passions are, your background.

If it helps to gather your thoughts, write it in Spanish, then translate it to English or talk to your friends and family to verbalize why you want to go to NYU.

Buena suerte!