"The Code is Mightier Than The Pen" - NYU Supplementary Essay

NYU is global, urban, inspired, smart, connected, and bold. What can NYU offer you, and what can you offer NYU? (200-400 words)

I have always had a natural urge to help people. Throughout my life, I was confused because I was not naturally interested in any of the careers that typically have a direct impact on people; in this case a doctor or social worker.

As I got older, I finally figured out what I wanted to do: create. Computer science gives you the power to create technology that benefits mankind.

Someone once told me, "If you are good at something, there will always be a thousand people who are better than you." As a student at NYU, I will have the opportunity to create with like-minded people and at the same time receive a world-class education in the world's most diverse urban agglomeration. At NYU, there are thousands who are just as inspired, smart, connected, bold, and passionate as myself. When you place all these people together, the possibilities for creation are limitless.

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HI Lan, you have certainly written a very convincing essay here. It is quite informative and has adhered to the prompt requirements very well. However, I feel that you have concentrated too much on the academic side instead of offering a more well-rounded essay covering the academic and social aspects of your future relationship with NYU. You can actually do away with your introductory sentences and simply provide an immediate answer starting your essay off with


, which is the direct and immediate answer to the provided prompt. After that, you can offer a second paragraph that states something about the vibrant social life at NYU, what it has to offer you and how you look forward to participating in it and how you may be able to help bring a new kind of energy to the vibrant community. I believe that by covering the academic and social aspects of the university life in this essay, you will have a better and even stronger essay to present for their consideration :-)

Hi Vangiespen --

Thanks for reading my essay. I've attached an updated version with your suggestions. As of right now it is 496 words out of the 400 allotted. Any help with scaling down would be great!

Thanks,

Lan

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Someone once told me, "If you are good at something, there will always be a thousand people who are better than you." This is not a bad thing because it means there is room for infinite growth. As a student at NYU, I will have the opportunity to create with similar-minded people and at the same time receive a world-class education in the world's most diverse urban agglomeration. At NYU, there are thousands who are just as inspired, smart, connected, bold, and passionate as myself. When you place all these people together, the possibilities for creation are limitless.

[...]

Lan, see if this 342 version of the essay works for you :-) I rearranged some parts and edited certain portions. I do not feel like the changes affected your message. I hope you feel the same after reading it :-)

Someone once told me, "If you are good at something, there will always be a thousand people who are better than you." At NYU, there are thousands who are just as inspired, smart, connected, bold, and passionate as myself. When you place all these people together, the possibilities for creation are limitless. As a student at NYU, I will have the opportunity to create with similar-minded people and at the same time receive a world-class education in the world's most diverse urban agglomeration.

As an organizer for HsHacks - the largest high school only student-run hackathon in the United States; I have experienced first hand the impact that programming has. When young people see that they have created working code from scratch, it inspires them to continue to create. The power to create is an unstoppable force. The power of computer science can be summed up by a new metonymic adage: "The code is mightier than the pen."...

Hi vangiespen,

This made my essay flow a lot more smoothly. I really appreciate it! I added a few things. What do you think?

With edits, it is 410 words out of 400 allotted

ps: I realize that you removed this, but I wanted a way to help visualize how I would be productively spending my time there. Any suggestions on how to reword this would be great.

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Entire essay:
Someone once told me, "If you are good at something, there will always be a thousand people who are better than you." Having people who are better than you is not a bad thing, because it allows for infinite growth as an individual. Like in the real world, if you are not growing, you are dying. At NYU, there are thousands who are just as inspired, smart, connected, bold, and passionate as myself. When you place all these people together, the possibilities for creation are limitless. As a student at NYU, I will have the opportunity to create with similar-minded people and at the same time receive a world-class education in the world's most diverse urban agglomeration.

As an organizer for HsHacks - the largest high school only student-run hackathon in the United States; I have experienced first hand the impact that programming has on young people. When we see that we have created working code from scratch, it inspires us to continue to create. The power to create is an unstoppable force. The power of computer science can be summed up by a new metonymic adage: "The code is mightier than the pen."

My goal is to continue to make NYU a global powerhouse by increasing the prominence of the Hack NYU Hackathon. I have come to realize that with all the available resources, the Hackathon scene at NYU is being under utilized. Hackathons are where innovation and creative people shine and where small ideas become huge realities. At NYU, I will advocate for more participation in Hackathons and help break the cultural stereotype of computer science being a 'dorky' or 'male-only' pastime.

In the morning, I may very well be sitting in a lecture hall, but in the afternoon I could be interning for a startup helping build the next great human technological advancement. Being a person who learns kinesthetically, NYU will give me the proper balance in real life and classroom learning to maximize my education. I hope to contribute to NYU's excellence and continue my own endeavors of creating code that benefits society.

I am enthusiastic in adding to the broad cultural and academic talents that NYU has to offer. From joining the Student Senators Council to widen my views of the vast social, ideological, and academic differences, to joining the band to continue my second trumpet prowess, or practicing my jump smash with the badminton club: the vibrant social life at NYU speaks for itself.

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Lastly, I really appreciate this. Thank you so much!

I made my comments below and also restructured a paragraph for you to hopefully make it work better :-)


- This is a totally unnecessary and disconnected addition to the paragraph. Just leave the paragraph as is. It works best that way :-)


- Your sentence at the end best sums this sentiment up. If you keep this sentence, you will have to explain it. The last sentence includes an implied explanation already :-)


- The best placement for this sentence would be as follows :
Being a person who learns kinesthetically, NYU will give me the proper balance in real life and classroom learning to maximize my education. In the morning, I may very well be sitting in a lecture hall, but in the afternoon I could be interning for a startup helping build the next great human technological advancement. I hope to contribute to NYU's excellence and continue my own endeavors of creating code that benefits society.

I've made the changes that you suggested. After reading the first draft to reading this iteration, I feel like my essay has improved tremendously. Thank you very much Vangiespen! :)

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Here's the latest version:

Someone once told me, "If you are good at something, there will always be a thousand people who are better than you." Having people who are better than you is not a bad thing, because it allows for infinite growth as an individual. At NYU, there are thousands who are just as inspired, smart, connected, bold, and passionate as myself. When you place all these people together, the possibilities for creation are limitless. As a student at NYU, I will have the opportunity to create with similar-minded people and at the same time receive a world-class education in the world's most diverse urban agglomeration.

[...]

I feel like you should be more specific as to what NYU can offer you. I think you did really well on the other question in the prompt, but not on part about what NYU can offer you. Maybe mention specific classes or programs that are unique to NYU and why you would want to take those classes

Hi all,

I feel very happy with the growth in my essay so far. Please feel free to read the most recent version and let me know what you think

NYU is global, urban, inspired, smart, connected, and bold. What can NYU offer you, and what can you offer NYU? (200-400 words)

Currently at 396 words /400 allowed

My mentor once told me, "Even though you might be good at something, there will always be a thousand people who are better than you." This particular circumstance is not necessarily a bad thing, because it allows for infinite individual growth. At NYU, there are thousands who are just as inspired, smart, connected, bold, and passionate as myself. Together, the possibilities for creation are limitless. As an NYU student, I will have the opportunity to create new experiences...and technology with similar-minded people and concurrently receive a world-class education in the world's most diverse urban agglomeration.

As an organizer for HSHacks - the largest high school student-run hackathon in the United States; I have genuinely experienced the impact that programming has on young people. When we see that we have created working code from scratch, it inspires us to continue creating. The power of Computer Science can be summed up by a modern metonymic adage: "The code is mightier than the pen."

Hackathons are where small ideas become huge, tangible realities. I have learned more Computer Science through building at hackathons than actual online courses. My goal is to add to NYU's reputation as a global powerhouse by expanding the reach of the school's hackathon. The NYU hackathon scene is underutilized. With my knowledge and experiences, I will increase participation and sponsorship. I will expand these opportunities for current and next generation innovators. With my potential classmates, we will collectively demolish the cultural stereotype of Computer Science being a 'dorky' or 'male-only' pastime.

As a kinesthetic learner, NYU will give me the proper balance in real world and classroom learning. At NYU, my morning CSCI-UA 453 lectures may provide me with a grasp in computational theory, but in the afternoon I could possibly be applying that knowledge interning for a New York startup creating the next human technological advancement.

From joining the Student Senators Council to widen my views of the vast student body, to joining the band to showcase my second trumpet prowess, or practicing my jump smash with the badminton club: the vibrant social life that NYU can offer me speaks for itself. I will create code that benefits society and ignite inspiration in others who aspire to code. I have learned that it takes practice to excel, and passion to exceed. As an NYU student, I will break personal barriers that I never knew existed.

The essay looks as ready as it can be Lan. I believe that it is ready for you to use because it has been reviewed, edited and revised already. It has gone through the paces of preparation and should be as perfect as it can be because of it. Then again, my criteria of what makes this essay ready may be different from yours so don't forget your personal considerations when deciding upon the readiness of your essay. If you feel that it is also ready for submission then go for it. Otherwise, let me know if you have any other concerns with the essay and I will help you address them :-) Good luck with your application.