College application! Reflecting on personal goals...

Reflecting on your personal and educational goals, please write about how you believe UNC will allow you to grow as a student and as a person.

I believe that the University of North Carolina will help me grow socially and help me achieve my educational goals dramatically. My whole life I have lived in a small coastal town in southern Maine. After high school I attended Community College. I chose community college because I have separation anxiety leaving home and living on my own. This way, while attending school I would live at home and commute to school, until I was ready to move on. Now that I have received my associates degree in Behavioral Health and my Mental Health Rehabilitation Certificate for the state of Maine, it is time for me to make my next big step in life. I am now ready to step out of my comfort zone and go to a college away from home.

After years of searching, UNC has become my dream college. The thing that initially drew me into the University of North Carolina was its beautiful location. Due to growing up on the coast of Maine, the ocean has become a safe place for me to relax. Because UNC is on the coast, this will help my anxieties lower and I will feel closer to home. This location will also help me grow socially by meeting new people at the place I love the most; the ocean.

By going to community college, I learned how important it was for me to have relationships with my professors and peers in order to have assistance and support when needed. I believe a huge factor in success is having more people in my support group. UNC's medium sized classes will allow me to get to know my peers and professors on a more personal level.

It is important to know and understand social norms of different ethnicities and cultures when getting into the field of Psychology and Social Work. According to ABCNews, Maine is the least diverse state in the country. UNC and the state of North Carolina itself, has a variety of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds. This will provide me with the knowledge I need to better myself in the work field, and for my own personal gain.

Please Help (:

Hi Joelle
The prompt asked you about your goal and how you expect UNC to achieve that goal.
No where I was able to figure out your career goal but your likings and dislikings. You mentioned good reason of diversity and engaging with professors. But mention what is your goal. Separation anxiety and relaxation atmosphere may be you can mention as one thing but do not make it as important in your essay. Mention about courses, you mentioned class size which is good. But firstly, mention about courses and how you expect their courses help you to achieve your goal. Then, you can write that being its location in so and so.

Hope this helps:)

Joelle, you have successfully represented the reasons that UNC will be able to help you develop as a person once you attend the university. By expolaining your separation anxiety issues and other factors that prevente dyou from receiving a 4 year degree in the past, you have also managed to explain that you are now finally ready to attend a real university and accept the personal challenges that will accompany it.

However, you did not get to the point about your meeting your academic goals immediately. Instead, you wasted space discussing the view and environment of the community that the university is located in. You should simply omit that and instead, go directly to your discussion that states:

By going to community college, I learned how important it was for me to have relationships with my professors and peers in order to have assistance and support when needed. I believe a huge factor in success is having more people in my support group. UNC's medium sized classes will allow me to get to know my peers and professors on a more personal level.

It is important to know and understand social norms of different ethnicities and cultures when getting into the field of Psychology and Social Work. According to ABCNews, Maine is the least diverse state in the country. UNC and the state of North Carolina itself, has a variety of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds. This will provide me with the knowledge I need to better myself in the work field, and for my own personal gain.

You can skip the part telling the reviewer that you already received 2 certificates and the explanation about the location of the university. Those are just not relevant to the prompt requirements. Also, try to restate the information that you received from ABC News. Make it sound like something you learned on your own through research and an understanding of the university objectives and goals. That way you come across as more engaged in the course you have chosen to enroll in instead of just giving out second hand information.