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College application personal essay for vet tech. Just a rough draft, needs a lot of work



mpg 1 / -  
Jun 24, 2016   #1
Thinking about a career I want to devote my life to is something that has been challenging for me. I've put a lot of thought and consideration into how to incorporate my love and passion for animals with a successful future.

About 1 in 26 Americans will develop epilepsy in their lifetime. Epilepsy became apart of my life when I was diagnosed four years ago, it took sometime before I really found some positives behind the disease; animals helped show me those positives. The amount of therapy that just one animal can provide amazes me. There are many foundations across the country where animals are the ones taking care of us. I find so much comfort in knowing what a positive impact pets apart of these foundations have made on people's lives. Like people animals are all unique in their own way, they not only provide companionship but many different types of therapy as well. Animals have already made such a positive impact on my life, my goal is to show others that same impact.

I have always surrounded myself with animals from having dogs, cats, rabbits and just about everything in between while I was growing up. I have grown an irreplaceable bond with animals. The well-being of any animal has always been a major concern of mine. The need for veterinary technicians is growing more and more each day, due to animal abuse, neglect and just needed everyday care for animals. The different experiences I have encountered with animals throughout my life is what made me realize veterinary technology is something I am ready to put all my effort and hard work into.

Small class sizes, hands on experience and rural location is what has really drawn me to Vermont Tech. I fully believe VTC can provide me with plenty of knowledge and challenges that I need to succeed as a vet technician. Being aware of the competitiveness of this program and others I have begun to really value the effort it takes to become apart of this noble field. I am motivated more than ever to prove to myself and to others that I have what it takes to succeed in this career path.

knhusone 3 / 6  
Jun 25, 2016   #2
Hi Mpg, I think your writing is good and your vocabulary is various, too. However,maybe there are some places you need to clarify:
=> Epilepsy became apart of my life when I was diagnosed four years ago, it took me sometime before I really found some positives behind ... ( Does the word sometime here refer to a period of time or not?)

=> I have always surrounded myself with animals from having dogs, cats, rabbits and just about everything in between while I was growing up.

i wonder if I misunderstand your ideas but I think you can rewrite these sentences in a more comprehensive way. Thanks :)
justivy03 - / 2265  
Jun 27, 2016   #3
Hi Marissa, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, we strive to provide you with the most accurate and objective criticism that will hopefully nurture your skills in writing.

Below are my suggestions for the enhancement of your essay;

- Smallclass sizesShort classes ,
- I fully believe VTC canwill
- provideassist me within
- plenty ofacquiring knowledge
- thethis competitiveness of this program - and others, I have begun
- to really value the effort it takes
- to become aparta part of this noble field.

There you have it Marissa, I hope the corrections above are helpful to your revision. Indeed, there's still a lot of work to polish your essay, but don't fret, you manage to start this essay, this means, you are able to successfully take the first step in realizing your dream.


Home / Undergraduate / College application personal essay for vet tech. Just a rough draft, needs a lot of work
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