I graduated high school in '09 and decided to take a gap year off before going to college for personal reasons. So this year I'm doing the college process and need some help with my essay. I've done as much as I could on my own, but not being in high school anymore with teachers who can proof-read it has made things difficult. Maybe someone can tell me where I can make it stronger check spelling, grammar, or make any suggestions at all would really help seeing as I know know one who's geared towards English.
Also what kind of heading do colleges expect on a personal statement if any? Should I double space? It's only supposed to be 250 minimum words so I don't know.
Thanks so much. You can respond here I guess or contact me through email if that's be better for anyone.
Personal Essay.
The mop-top of kinky curls that sit atop my head twists and turn every which way. The glasses that perch on my nose practically engulf my face. In places where I should talk, I usually end up in an awkward, embarrassing stare. When I remove the glasses my eyes appear so big and observant that people always ask why I'm staring at them 'like that'. To make a long story short there has always been something about me that the world has found less than worthy, and in the good tradition of creative outlets art has always been there for me.
With the beginning of a very colorful hobby of mine, I knew I wanted to pursue art as a career. For hours I'd sit and scour the internet, searching through face after face, finding the perfect flaws, compiling folders and notebooks full of people's pictures. These people I have never seen in my life before now. Even though I know nothing about them, just by looking I felt like I know everything from their favorite music to the very day they were born. I will never be outgoing, I'm probably never going to win a beauty pageant, but when I look at these people with freckles out of place, just like me, I feel a strange sense of comradery. It's a feeling like if we did know each other, we'd have a similar story to tell.
"Why did you draw that scar under her chin?" My mother asked one day while I was plugging away at a portrait of a girl, "you could have just as easily left it out. No one would have noticed."
I don't try to lie through my art, nor be brutally honest through painful exaggerations. All I'm trying to do is show the world what I see in everyone.
To me, this is art.
The mop-top of kinky curls that sit atop my head twists and turn every which way.
wow!! awesome
write turns instead of turn, though.
To make a long story short there has always been something about me that the world has found less than worthy ---- well, not in this case, this may be the most impressive intro to an essay I have read all week. You are worthy...
capitalize Internet.
ha ha,
comradery camaraderie
If there is room to write more, write more, because all your words are impressive.
Ha ha, it's because the correct spelling is SO different from the way you would expect it to be! that word gave me a hard time, too, when I first tried to use it.
