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'Colombia and the efforts of my parents' Meaningful event, experience, etc.-Narrative



Nena011 1 / 1  
Sep 2, 2008   #1
The minute I stepped foot on that plane, my life changed forever. Colombia was my home for ten years; but now my family was searching for a new home in the United States. I remember finding my seat on the plane and waiting apprehensively for the engines to start. Fear ran through my veins as my small hands clutched my teddy bear tightly; so tightly that it was as if I was holding on for dear life. As the plane took off, I reluctantly waved goodbye to the part of me I left behind on that soil. At the young age of ten, I was oblivious to the immense impact this flight would have on my future. Arriving to this country was a unique experience that shaped me into a responsible, motivated, and devoted individual.

It did not take long for me to conquer the language, make new friends, and easily adjust to the different culture. Soon after our arrival, I became aware of the sacrifices my parents were making with the intentions of starting over. It breaks my heart now to think of the hardships they endured; working minimum wage jobs endlessly in order to make ends meet. At one point, my father worked 18 hours a day struggling to keep our head above water. My parents have truly devoted their lives to making sure I have great opportunities, and I endeavor to express my gratitude by working hard to attain my goals.

The effort my parents made to overcome adversity has opened my eyes to the altruistic love one feels for his or her child. Excelling in high school has been my way of showing them how grateful I am for their devotion. As my role models, they taught me how essential it is to prepare myself for the future. They continuously encourage me to educate myself as much as possible because knowledge is the only thing one can never lose.

Throughout the past few years, I have recognized the importance of an education and have strived to maintain academic excellence. Education is my primary and most important priority in life. School opened my eyes to the complexity of the world that we live in; where there is an abundance of life waiting to be uncovered. For this reason, I want to pursue a career in the field of science. I have gradually developed a passion for learning; the more I learn, the more I want to discover.

The barriers we have overcome as a family and the suffering I have witnessed in my parents has changed my outlook on life. My inquisitive mind will take me places where only few have been. As an aspiring veterinarian, I wish to perform research in the field of veterinary pathology. My thirst for knowledge will be my contribution to the University of Florida; allowing me to expand my intellect as I prepare myself to investigate new ideas and play a role in the growth of science and medicine.

OP Nena011 1 / 1  
Sep 2, 2008   #2
Is there any other errors? Also, do you think my essay answers the prompt effectively? I don't want it to be too generic. I want it to be clear that the experience is coming to this country and how it affected me is by making me more determined to follow my dreams. Thanks for your help.
EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Sep 3, 2008   #3
I believe there is one error, a comma in your first paragraph. I think you have answered the prompt very effectively. It is a nice essay.


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