How did you learn about Colorado College and why do you wish to attend?
I first learnt about Colorado College on an article introducing special academic calendars. Colorado College, with its unique Block Plan, drew my attention immediately. Having had a hard time multitasking, I always wanted to attend a college where I could devote an amount of time into a single field. Colorado College's Block plan, as I discovered, provides such flexibility and concentration for me.
Colorado College's unique location appeals to me. Located near the Rocky Mountains, Colorado College is close the wilderness, and close to sports that I never had a chance to try: whitewater rafting, biking, rock climbing etc. The city of Colorado Springs provides the best of both worlds- it is isolated from the distractions of a big city, but still to the "Queen City of the Plains", a vibrant and large-scale community, and a place where tired minds could always find relaxation, whether at the Pepsi Center or at the Denver Art Museum.
Devoting my high school life into Model UN made it an activity unparalleled by others because it developed me not only in one aspect, but a person as a whole. Through caucusing, debating, public speaking, and drafting resolutions, I have developed my leadership and negotiation skills, and most importantly, raised my awareness of the global issues. As I went through Colorado College's list of student activities, I discovered that there is not a Model UN Club at Colorado College. I wish to set up such a club myself to continue disseminate the spirit of the activity and to let the youth today to care about the world and to change the world in future.
In 2000, I went to the U.S. for school while my mother worked as a visiting scholar. The two-year experience had shaped me a lot both as a person and as an intellectual. Coming back to the United States has been a dream. Colorado College, with the reasons I have listed above, is a great place for the dream to come true. In addition, what makes the Colorado College an institution of choice for me is its mission: "...educating for our time when it graduates women and men with mental agility and the skills of critical judgment, persons who have learned how to learn..." -which, in my view, will be a continuation of the process that I experienced back in 2000. Except now, the process will be in an institution globally recognized for its quality of education.
Any comments are welcome and I do appreciate your suggestions!
It doesn't seem long enough. You may want to give more reasons for why you want to go there. Not a lot more, just a couple. Then expand in go into detail about those reasons.
I don't see anything wrong with putting that you want to expand the campus by adding an organization that has been important to you. I did it for my Rutgers essay. Explain the details of the club, and why it's important to you, and why other's would or should want to join.
Don't repeat it twice in that first line:
I first learnt about Colorado College from an article introducing special academic calendars. Colorado College, with its The unique Block Plan drew my attention immediately.
Having had a hard time multitasking, I always wanted to attend a college where I could devote an amount of time into a single field.---------- this is not good because you are supposed to be good at multitasking in fast-paced 21st centure society, and also because you say a single field instead of naming the field.
I noticed recently that multitasking is contrary to the practice of mindfulness. You can make that argument, but don't just say you are bad at multitasking or they might judge you for it!
An idea about focusing some more on specific subjects you want to study: It is good because it shows how focused you are. This is just my opinion, but I think readers in the Admission Office like to favor the students that really have a vision for the future and are excited about working hard to enter their fields. I think it is good to be decisive about at least one topic you realy want to study.
:-)
