"Columbia is somewhere I'd be proud to go to school" - Short Answer

The Prompt is: Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why

I need help trimming my response by about 150 characters, I also need general feedback to this short answers general worth.
Thank you in advance.

Let's start off and talk about the big picture, specifically location. Columbia University is located in New York, which is hugely appealing to me. Despite increasing globalization and change New York is still the center of the world. It's a center of commerce, creativity, and progress. It's the center of the world and I can't think of a better place to start out my life on my own.

As for the school itself, Columbia's writing program is a huge draw for me. I'm not sure what I want to do professionally, but I love to write. I don't know if I want to write professionally, but I intend to continue to pursue it as a hobby and cathartic exercise. Columbia's renowned creative writing and journalism programs can help turn me into the writer I want to be.

And beyond those two specific programs Columbia offers such a strong background in every other discipline. As stated previously I'm not sure what I want to study, but that's not a problem at Columbia. It's such an all around balanced and versatile school that I can be comfortable in the knowledge that whatever I fall in love with or decide to study will be offered in force at Columbia. It's a school that will give me a real chance to experiment and grow without the risk of backing the wrong academic horse.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, Columbia is somewhere I'd be proud to go to school. To be picked as one of the select few who get to interact with Columbia's celebrated staff and elite students would be a privilege. I'd be a reminder of my own potential and reason to continue to do my best at everything I do, and become the person I want to be.

Wow, thanks for your quick response to my essay lol. Here's what I have to say about yours:

First off, it's well written. I don't see any spelling or grammar mistakes. Except, you should have a comma here: "Despite increasing globalization and change, New York is still the center of the world" (speaking of which, do you want to state that it's the center of the world so matter-of-factly? Why don't you expand by saying that the opportunities you'd find through Columbia's internship program are the best you'd find anywhere?)

I like your informal tone of voice, though it can be a bit detrimental at some points in your essay. Right off the bat, the "Let's start off" might seem unprofessional for one of the best universities in the nation. You can talk like that in an interview, but when you have 1500 characters to get you into college, you don't want to waste letters with a phrase that doesn't do much.

I can't think of a better place to start out my life on my own.

Also "As for the school itself," makes the the first paragraph of your essay (applying to Columbia) seem like you're applying to New York City and stating Columbia as an advantage of living in the Big Apple. Check your phrasing on that. I'll also let you know, since I live in NYC and hear from Columbia a lot, that location is the most common theme found in Columbia applications. We only have about a week left (!!!) but see if you want to write about something more unique, if you can think of something.

"To be picked as one of the select few who get to interact with Columbia's celebrated staff and elite students would be a privilege. I'd be a reminder of my own potential and reason to continue to do my best at everything I do, and become the person I want to be." ends the essay well from a writing standpoint, but makes it seem like Columbia is best for its ivy status.

Consider a supermodel at a party. She knows every guy within a 50 foot radius of her will want to ask her to dinner because of her looks, but she doesn't want to be TOLD that. She'll flaunt it and put makeup on for an hour before the party, but (for some odd reason, like colleges) wants her guy to like her for her personality. Think that way for the ivies, also. They flaunt it, they boast it and sneak it into sentences, but they want applicants to love them for everything else. If Columbia was a state college with the same offerings it has academics-wise and social-life-wise, would you still go there? Write like that.

Otherwise, it seems well structured and well written :)