WHY Columbia? "There is no story without a cast of characters."

There is no story without a cast of characters. And at Columbia, the rich and eclectic cast of extraordinary professors and quirky students define the tale that I want to be a part of. Both intellectually and personally, students have an opportunity to define who they are.

Columbia's Core Curriculum allows students to pursue all of their passions, convenient for those who, like me, have a broad range of interests. A class on Japanese cartography? Right up my alley! The Core brings together motivated students from around the glob in intensive courses, allowing them to form close relationships and providing an opportunity to uncover new curiosities. Coupled with cutting-edge resources and professors who change the way you think, I want to reach my cerebral potential at Columbia.

Columbia will help me to expand my horizons and grow. Surrounded by and individual and impossible to stereotype student body, I want to have thought provoking discussions about everything ranging from The Hunger Artist to the new episode of Criminal Minds.

As a potential political science major, I want to attend a college that is very politically active.
Columbia has more diverse political participants and organizations than any other college in America. Ranging from environmentalists to those passionate about ending world hunger, Columbia's student body collectively raises its voice to better the world. I want to add my voice to their collective harmony. I want to join these atypical personalities.

Please help to make this better with your critiques. :D

It is a great why essay, very personal. Just fix some types as person above pointed out.

I agreed with the other comments, and I think your revision is a lot better :)

I was jw..when colleges say january 1 deadline, do they mean 11:59 p.m. on december 31st or any time before 11:59 p.m. january 1?

I really like the essay personally I think you should start it with a sentence in ("), which contains your personal though about the subject.It'll make it more interesting:)

Hey, the main point of your essay, i feel, should be built upon the first line.

"There is no story without a cast of characters. And at Columbia, the rich and eclectic cast of extraordinary professors and quirky students define the tale that I want to be a part of. Both intellectually and personally, students have an opportunity to define who they are."

And then you digress to the Core Curriculum. I wish that your essay would center around the professors and student community at Columbia. that would really make it connect with the adcom, since it is THE THING that you find unique about the university.

Sorry for the criticism. Hope it helps :)