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I did not come from the land of opportunity or of liberty and freedom; CENTRAL TO IDENTITY



hello_sunshine 1 / 3  
Dec 30, 2013   #1
Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

I did not come from the land of opportunity or of liberty and freedom. I came from land where children were unable to attend school, while their country is in rage by war. Americans are accustomed to hearing about war, death and poverty but one does not know the reality of the words if they have never experienced it themselves. My family originated from Sierra Leone to the United States thirteen years ago after years of constant struggle because of the counties poor economic situation. Growing up in this environment has affected my learning and my social interaction. At that time my father has been living in America, working hard to bring his family to this country. Upon arriving, our family settled in New York where I was able to meet with many people who were different from me but shared similar stories. I moved to an environment that was totally different from the one I came from and adjusting to living in a new culture was a big struggle for me.

I came not knowing how to read or write and being able to comprehend what was being taught to me in a classroom full of children who were already ahead of me, which led me to held back a year. Since our family was still new to the country, they could not get us the help we really need. After only spending up to two years in New York, my family decided to move to Maryland for reminder of my childhood. To my parents education was important to them and wanted their children to have a better future than the one they had growing up back in Africa. My parents worked two jobs, while providing food and shelter and being as much involved in their children's life as possible. They looked for tutors that would help in our school work and was placed in a class for English Language Learners during my elementary school years to help us with our reading and writing and for the us to be acquire the new language. This helped my brother and me to improve in our classes and to be able to adjust to the American Life.

Back then I was too young and naive to understand my parent's intentions before. Now I realize that my parents had sacrificed their happiness for us and didn't complain once in the process, I owe it to them to appreciate my environment and actually make something of myself. By my sophomore year, I was in honors class. I was able to excel to the level of Advanced Placement course in my Junior and senior year. I'm now involve with many clubs and have volunteered at Washington Adventist Hospital over the summer assisting nurses, helping with patients, working at the station and doing files for the nurse manager. This position requires a lot of human interactions, knowledge of language, knowledge of sociology, and proper attitude. Without a good stand in my education, it would not have been possible for me to be part of the hospital team. After the analyzing my own live I understand that I became more thoughtful in the thing I do and became a better person as a result of all of the obstacles that I have overcome. I now started to pay more attention to my future by revisiting and analyzing the past, which would help me to becoming the person my parents have set forth for me to become.

Please review my essay

xxnina22796xx 3 / 4  
Dec 31, 2013   #2
I came from a land where children were unable to attend school, while their country is in rage by war.
My family originated from Sierra Leone to the United States thirteen years ago after years of constant struggle because of the counties county's poor economic situation.

My family originated from Sierra Leone to the United States thirteen years ago after years of constant struggle because of the countiescounty's poor economic situation.

"My family originated from Sierra Leona and migrated to the United States"
"My family migrated from Sierra Leona to the United States thirteen years ago..."
Upon arriving, our family settled in New York where I was able to meet with
many people who were different from me but shared similar stories.

Since our family was still new to the country, they could not get us the help we really need needed.
...my family decided to move to Maryland for reminder of my childhood. Kind of confused as to what you are trying to say here
To my parents education was important to them and they wanted their children to have a better future than the one they had growing up back in Africa.

My parents worked two jobs, while providing food and shelter and being as much involved in their children's life as possible. and being as involved in their children's lives as possible.

They looked for tutors that would help in us with our school work and we wereplaced in a class for English Language Learners during my our elementary school years to help us with our reading and writing and for the us to be acquire the new language.
OP hello_sunshine 1 / 3  
Jan 3, 2014   #3
thank you for your help butI'm confused of what you're trying to do. I know my grammar is dad, which I'm still working on. But can you let me know what i need to take out and what i need to correct. But thanks again for the help. I change as much as i can on my essay. xxnina22796xx


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