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Comics; UIUC - interest or experience



kfc 1 / 2  
Dec 15, 2013   #1
Hi, can anyone give me some feedback on my essay? Grammatical-wise, essay quality-wise? Thanks so much.

Essay 2
Tell us about one interest or experience of yours that allows us to get to know you better as an individual. (300 Words)


I always spent my childhood mornings waiting for the newspaper, but not for its news. I waited for my daily dose of joy and wonder- from its comic section. Each comic I read invited me into its own special world, unique in art style, characters, and story. After every comic, I felt excited and hungry for more.

This was what inspired me to be the cartoonist for my school newspaper. Our newspaper never had a comic section before, so I gladly took the advantage and created my own comic strip, with my own unique style, characters, and story. The newspaper staff loved it, and from then on, our school newspaper had a regular comic section.

Initially, I put in the comics just for the sake of showcasing them. However, it began to mean more that. Sure, I felt happy expressing my artistic and creative skills into comics. But I realized nothing made me happier than when students and teachers told me how my comic brightened their day, and they looked forward to the next issue. I realized that by creating comics and sharing them, I gave people the similar kind of joy I experienced while drawing them. A medium of passion, my comic strips, could make people smile and laugh, and temporarily escape the stress of the high school environment.

Although my small part in the newspaper was not to give news, it was to give people joy and laughter, which was just as important. With all of this positive feedback and comfort, I was encouraged to continue creating comics. But furthermore, I was encouraged to be brave, and be an explorer.

I want to explore the many other ways in which I can also use my artistic and creative skills to help people all around- even if it is as small as a smile on their faces.

Jared961286 2 / 7  
Dec 18, 2013   #2
unique in art style, characters, and story

There should be a noun:"unique art style,characters and stories

It's a great essay and comics is a good topic.Besides,it really reflects your love for others:)

Good luck!
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 7, 2014   #3
. I waited for my daily dose of joy and wonder- from its comic section

....How about this one?
I waited for my daily dose of fun,laughter and joy from its comic section.

However, it began to mean more that.

However, as time passed, it became more and more meaningful to me.
This is a very impressive piece of writing. I think you have answered the prompt very well :)
Good luck with your application!
OP kfc 1 / 2  
Jan 13, 2014   #4
Wow, thank you very much for the feedback!
Shugz20 3 / 4  
Jan 13, 2014   #5
I think you should organize your essay in paragraphs, have a thesis statement too! Although, your details are very good, but make sure you include more and make it an essay instead of just a paragraph or two.
OP kfc 1 / 2  
Jan 13, 2014   #6
The limit was just 300 words, and mine actually went a little over 300, so I would've done so if I could!


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