Comment/Suggestions for Semester at Sea Application Essay

Jkinney 1 / 1

Nov 2, 2014 #1

Prompt:
How will your Semester at Sea voyage create (or enhance) your personal global perspective? Highlight your discussion by referencing at least one country on your itinerary and by explaining how your time there will further develop your awareness. (300-500 words)

Essay:
Pico Iyer, a British novelist with Indian origin, wisely states "We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next to find ourselves. We travel to open our hearts and eyes and learn more about the world than our newspapers will accommodate. We travel to bring what little we can, in our ignorance and knowledge, to those parts of the globe whose riches are differently dispersed. And we travel, in essence, to become young fools again- to slow time down and get taken in, and fall in love once more." This quote perfectly incapsulated the meaning of travel to me. There is no way to learn about the world other than to see it. No matter how many classes are taken, nothing is as eye opening as the world. If you love art, pictures are never the same as seeing the beautiful murals in Italy. If your passion is architecture, there will be nothing like seeing the Great Wall of China or the Taj Mahal in India.

From what I understand, global perspective is the understanding of the links between people around the world. Also the understanding of different cultures, economies, and politics that shape the lives around us. I have grown up in a small town in Alaska and would consider myself to be slightly sheltered. Although throughout my life I have traveled to many places, I realized in my first semester of college that I still have a very small understanding of what goes on in the world. When traveling, I never experienced the culture. I saw beautiful things and beautiful places but I never felt like I truly experienced what that destination was really like. Recently, I traveled to Belize and didn't realize it was a third world country till after I left.

With Semester at Sea, I would love to travel the world and take my head out of textbooks and experience the world as it truly is. I would love to play with children in places such as Ghana or South Africa. I would love to experience things such as riding camels in Morocco. It has always been a dream of mine to see the world, but I also want to go to school and get a college degree. With Semester at Sea, I will be able to do both.

Word count: 387

nkp28 1 / 20

Nov 2, 2014 #2

I think you have a really good essay going for you with a lot of potential, but I think you need to be a bit more specific. What do you hope the world will teach you? What do you hope the trip to Ghana or South Africa or Morocco can teach you - thats what part of the prompt seems to be looking for in the end, so I think it may be worthwhile to focus the third paragraph on that and then maybe create a 4th paragraph conclusion that addresses how you want to see the world but also go to school. My only other advice is to avoid over-generalizations. But like I said before I really like your approach! Maybe focus a bit more attention on the sheltered uprbringing, could be a cool angle!

Would you mind looking at my essay?

vangiespen - / 4077

Nov 2, 2014 #3

Jessie, a semester at sea is all about learning about diverse cultures and traditions by having the opportunity to immerse yourself in that world through your port stops across the globe. The best way to answer the essay would be to first, talk about the country that you are looking forward to visiting from the itinerary list and explaining why you are excited from a global perspective. This means explaining how you hope to learn more about the country and perhaps changing some misconceptions about the country that you gained from the world perspective or presentation of the country. From that point, you can go on to explain how the global perspective creates the first image of a country in the minds of people. Take one or two country destinations from the list at this point, then mention how the global community views them. Then explain how through the Semester at Sea, you hope to go far beyond the global perspective because the only way to truly understand a country and its people, is by immersing yourself in the way of life there, an opportunity that the Semester at Sea offers the students by stopping for a few days at every port of call. Do you think you can revise your essay to reflect that?