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Common App Activity Essay -Track and Field



jaydubs 1 / 1  
Nov 29, 2009   #1
Elaborate on one of your activity (150words or less)
"Good job, buddy"
After Ryan, the last runner of the relays, passed the finish line with heavy breathing, we gave each other high fives. Looking at the clock that indicated our relay team's best time, 3:25.90, I smiled. Then, I recollected the practices I spent with teammates. Two hours every day from November to May are not a small amount of time, but they were valuable for me.

Track and Field means more than just a sport to me. For me who immigrated to America from Korea in sophomore year, track was the key to assimilate into unfamiliar world. It shaped me not only physically but also socially and culturally. I established bonds to teammates who shared our differences. It enabled me to how to communicate with other people and understand the differences. Also, as the leader of the hurdle team, I learned leadership skills, which include teaching new hurdlers.

Tell me what you think!
Thank you :)

jen50192 4 / 31  
Nov 29, 2009   #2
Good content. But I'm sure that you can make it more fluid by keeping the sentences that relate to each other together. You can also sum up the whole paragraph better.
OP jaydubs 1 / 1  
Nov 30, 2009   #3
Thanks for the response! :)


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