I am an international student from a Country whose language is a kind of hieroglyph, so I am conceivably bad at English. Help will be greatly appreciated.
here comes the thing:
"We have met before."
On the game channel of International Cyber Cup, the speaker of the sentence can be from any country in the world. I have played Starcraft for four years and I understand its value as an e-sport; it provides a platform for minds to compete in a cyberspace.
The developments at the beginning of the game are all identical: gathering minerals, building supplies and making defensive or offensive units. I put scout in a essential place of the war, as Sun Tzu said in his Art of War, "To know the enemy and know yourself, and you can fight a hundred battles with no danger of defeat." Finding the balance point of the game is important too, as I need to scout, counter-scout, harass and attack while keeping up my own economic development. As the war escalates, multitasking becomes increasingly harder, and even one minor mistake can spell the end of the game.
Playing Starcraft helps me to develop a sense of balance and increases my multitasking ability: I learn to balance between student activities and academic studies, getting different tasks done orderly in real life.
Hmm, what's the requirement, I mean number of words etc. Would help more to judge it that way. BTW, what is it for?
sorry about that..
prompt: In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).
it actually exceeds the word limitation like 30 words..
Make it 2 paragraphs, because the transition from the first one to the 2nd isn't good enough. Make the description in the first one, then have a 2 line conclusion.
Thank you very much!
One question, is there anything that can be cut down?
I think you could actually leave off the whole first paragraph, if you add the name of the game to the first sentence in paragraph two, for example you might start with, "The developments at the beginning of the game Starcraft are all identical:..."
That puts you far enough under the word limit that you may add a little bit more if you like, but it is good.
:)
thanks!
but i am a little afraid that the admission officers will not know what Starcraft is.. do I need to explain it?
i find my essay very mediocre and there remain a lot of things that I don't know how to express by writing a short answer.. i want to improve it but just don't know how
Do you have another activity you can use? While Starcraft is a great game, and I agree that playing it does everything you say it does, many people are still biased against videogaming as a waste of time. While standing up for your beliefs is always good, you might want to go with something that you don't have to explain quite so much given the word limit.
ok I am actually also considering using the one I wrote for freshman application (i am applying for transfer now).
that was about Ping Pong
Ping Pong has taught me the way to act and react in life. A good Ping Pong player is just like a good swordsman, and the most delicate swordsmanship is not to kill the enemy at once; it is ostensibly defensive but furtively aggressive. I have been such a player since I was seven, and the way I show my swordsmanship is spinning the ball. I use spins to defend my opponent's attack and keep the ball alive, while giving him back both mine and his own force. The rapidly revolving ball floats irresistibly toward another side of the table with a blast of power. At the moment it reaches my opponent, all its accumulated power breaks out, and gives its catcher a death warrant.
I face the world just as I play Ping Pong: cope with sharp cutting edges with the most flexibility and bide my time to act.
The ping pong subject seems more appropriate for what they might want to see for this section. Perhaps you could add a sentence or two describing exactly what you did with ping pong. Did you play casually, play on a school team, go to competitions, etc.
On more thing would be just a matter of personal taste. The part about giving the other player a "death warrant" might be a little over the top if this is something that shapes you into who you are. Maybe thats a little melodramatic on my part but its something to think about.
P.S. Starcraft is my favorite game of all time.
Thank you gautama~
so do you have any idea about how to change the death warrant part?
i will try modify it and post again.
A good Ping Pong player is just like a good swordsman; and the most delicate swordsmanship is not to kill the enemy at once ; it is ostensibly defensive but furtively aggressive.
I have been such a player since I was seven, and the way I show my swordsmanship is by spinning the ball.
At the moment it reaches my opponent, all its accumulated power breaks out, and gives its catcher a death warrant.
Hey, I understand what Tyler means, but also "death warrant" is an interesting metaphor here. I think it works!!
This essay is much better than the first one. It is quick and crisp, like a ping pong volley. Are they called "volleys" in ping pong??
:)
Thank you Kevin. Unfortunately I don't know if they call that volleys, but I have not heard of that since I came here (I play ping pong with my friends regularly)
Do I need to include some other information like I played in the district team (one level lower than city team)?
Like the others, I like the ping pong one better, although Starcraft is indeed the superior sport. :D
Perhaps you want to work on how ping pong affected you rather than what it does, and what it is (like the whole spinning/rapidly moving part, you don't really need if you can describe how it makes you feel or what it has done for you)
Be clear and say that you were selected to play on the district team in a competitive division. That sounds impressive.
I like the rhythm of that essay.
Ping pong seems more suitable as a topic, especially if you played on the district team. You should definitely focus more on your involvement in the sport at a high level and on what playing there meant to you, though.
thank you all! I really appreciate your advice!
happy valentine's day!
