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Common App Short Answer - extracurricular activiry-sustainable



timetime 1 / 3  
Dec 23, 2009   #1
Could you please help me read my answers. What do you think?
Feel free to criticize! I need to narrow my answer because I have 5 words more.
Thank you so much!

Common App Short Answer
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below or on an attached sheet (150 words or fewer).


I participate in founding and flourishing the sustainability group this year for promoting necessary awareness on environmental and energy sources issues in my college and the community. I began my work with a presentation about Peak Oil, which was the greatest aspect to raise the awareness on energy resources. After that, I have engaged on organizing a compost project in my college through the efforts from building hand-made woody composter to publicizing the compost concept to my surrounding. A solar panel project is ongoing to save electricity and I will help with the physics technique part. I have to always actively involved to seek for new point and come up with creative idea to drive our project going further because there was no a regular road to follow. I'm glad to notice the change of attention level toward the environment my schoolmates had, and I gain satisfaction from making the effort and making a difference. (155)

Thanks again!

youngkim9193 4 / 7  
Dec 23, 2009   #2
I have to always actively involved to seek for new point and come up with creative idea to drive our project going further because there was no a regular road to follow.

I have to be actively involved in seeking for new point and coming up with creative idea...

I think it is a decent essay, but if I were you, I would put what I have gained from participating in the sustainability group...

Good luck! :)
OP timetime 1 / 3  
Dec 23, 2009   #3
Thank you,youngkim!
I am thinking the same actually, but my word count is over 150 already.
What can I cut from the answer? I need to narrow it.

Do you have any suggestions?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 25, 2009   #4
I participated in founding and flourishing the sustainability group this year for...
I like your use of "founding and flourishing." However, it is the organization that flourishes, not you! Still, I think it works.

After that, I have engaged in organizing a compost project in my college through the efforts from building hand-made woody composter and publicizing the compost concept to my surroundin in my area.

:-)


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