Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


Common App Short Answer - Playing piano at retirement homes



Woolachee 2 / 2  
Oct 15, 2009   #1
I don't know how i can cut it down any more. it's 152 words and i need it to be 150.
I appreciate all constructive comments, criticisms and/or advise.

I struck my opening chord flawlessly, but something sounded peculiar. The piano was vastly out-of-tune. Thus, even if I hit all the notes I perfectly, my performance would seem juvenile. My insides writhed at the thought of my audience's judgment. To my surprise, my audience had not become morbidly silent from my seemingly horrific performance, but instead, they were cheering and singing along! I was not playing a formal piano recital; I was in a retirement home, playing what I loved - the good old jazz standards. I perform at retirement homes because the members of the audience are overjoyed by the music I play; it reminds them of their childhood. I also perform because grandmother lived in a retirement home until she passed away. I used to visit her and play for her on the organ. Since she passed, I decided to give something by playing what my grandmother and I cherished.

EF_Stephen - / 262  
Oct 15, 2009   #2
First sentence can be "The opening chord was flawless, but" That cuts one word.

Third sentence, you can delete '"Thus." that cuts the other word.

This is a nice little vignette. I like it.


Home / Undergraduate / Common App Short Answer - Playing piano at retirement homes
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳