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Common app short answer, student councilors (Advice on shortening)



imike 3 / 20  
Dec 23, 2008   #1
I am 9 words over the 150 word limit. Any advice, critics?

Student councilors are prominent figures in my school. Not only because of our shiny pins or because of our representation of the student body, but because we are always ready to lend a hand to a fellow mountaineer. This camaraderie is what first impelled me to join the student council in my sophomore year and what keeps me in today. As I met great new friends, and saw the amazing things we were doing, I realized this was more than a club; this was a family.

Going to meetings and organizing different school and charity events has become more of a hobby than a duty. Gathering with all types of intelligent students from underclassmen to upperclassmen everyday, exchanging ideas and then watching them come to fruition in the following weeks or months never fails to amaze me. This teamwork is imperative as senior class president, now that I must organize the senior prom and all the other senior events.

pyroboy 1 / 4  
Dec 23, 2008   #2
Not only because of our shiny pins or because of our representation of the student body, but because we are always ready to lend a hand to a fellow mountaineer.

what keeps me in today <--------- is a little vague, specify?

The ending is a little hanging, does not really close...


Home / Undergraduate / Common app short answer, student councilors (Advice on shortening)
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