I signed the dotted line of the Bard Queens congratulatory letter accepting my seat as a member of the first founding class. Not only was I a part of a new school community, I also wanted to create it.
At a time when our new school needed a strong communal foundation, I wanted to make Bard more inclusive. My vision was for students, faculty, and administrators to come together to build an enriching school community and to foster a school culture. In unexpected circumstances, I drew inspiration to help Bard. While in the shower, the idea of a debate club appeared to me. While falling asleep after hours of homework, the literary magazine appeared in a dream. And while jogging one day, I imagined a talent show at Bard.
These extracurricular activities were meant to be engaging, aiding students in becoming well-rounded individuals and developing critical thinking and writing skills learned in our courses. The skills strengthened through these activities extended beyond after-school, helping students become better prepared for the real world, while allowing them to get to know each other as well.
I realized I had volunteered to participate in the FIRST Robotics Workshop Competition. I had never competed or programmed a robot before; nonetheless, I decided to put that aside and focus on gaining a new skill.
In 2009, I imagined women are just as represented as men. At my school girls constitute more than half the population. Unaware of the world outside Bard, I decided to take on the challenge of a computer scientist: to program a robot.
The competition started and I glanced around the room. From thirty five students present, there were three girls. I was one of them. Noticing the imbalance of females participating made me realize just how important it is for both genders to be equally represented in all fields. While women have made great gains in the past few decades, surely women must continue to explore different areas. Upon leaving that day, I realize the importance of encouraging other girls to participate in science an technology related competitions. This experience reaffirmed my own desire to pursue science in the future.
I was pleased with my decision to engage in the competition. It reaffirmed my belief that exposure to a plethora of experiences will open my mind to possibilities that exist and challenge me to reexamine my own beliefs regarding issues. Engaging with others in debates, or in the robotics competition required me to communicate with others and see that the variety of experiences is valuable in allowing me to reexamine my own views. Moreover, exposure to a variety of cultures is equally important in that it instills a sense of humbleness.
While there may be slight differences among us, at the core we are human beings. Following this logic, my maxim has been that we should act collectively in ensuring that our communities allow us to reach our maximum potential- a school,local, national or global community. This perspective is critical in having a global perspective of the world, which ultimately brings a greater understanding of the world and oneself.
I wanted to be responsible for what the Bard experience would come to represent for those students who will come after me. I tried to incorporate ranging activities in the school. These have shown me that diversity of ideas, people and cultures is important. It showed me the big picture which is: I am a global citizen- a citizen of the world.
Our school identity is still developing but students are beginning to realize their roles as not only students, but also members of the Bard community at large. At Bard have I been given a chance to make a difference, and I believe I have succeeded in doing so. However, I will not stop there. I will continue to make a difference at (insert college name here). I would like to think that at Bard, there are now many more students who are eager to do the same.
Some of your paragraphs seem really short and they need better transitions. make sure that each paragraph flows from one to another
I realized I had volunteered to participate in the FIRST Robotics Workshop Competition. I had never competed or programmed a robot before; nonetheless, I decided to put that aside and focus on gaining a new skill.
you need a transition before this to connect general extracurriculars to how you suddenly "realized you volunteered..."
what's the prompt? depending on whatever the prompt is, i feel like you can focus your answer better
