This past summer I worked with one, Joey.
I don't see why you can't describe Joey in the intro.
E.G: I worked with Joey, a 24 year-old camper, who has been diagnosed...
I worked with Joey, who is 24 years old. Joey has been diagnosed with Down syndrome, Cerebral palsy, and multiple other difficulties.
as I prob mentioned, you could combine those 2 sentences
Taking care of Joey required a lot of work. But more than anything, it took extreme patience.
combine those 2 as well
I laughed
why would you laugh?
instead, smiled would be better
I also learned kindness. Joey was very kind and affectionate. Everyday Joey reminds me how others deserve to be treated.
how does Joey being kind affects you? Basically, you're saying that because this guy is nice, you learned to be nice. it kinda doesn't make sense
I hope to see him again someday.
you need a stronger finish here, better to summarize what you really want to talk about, which is how you developed patience and niceness (not so sure) through the experience
I get that you don't have a lot of words for this one, so try to combine sentences and make your ideas flow. instead of saying: he's 24. he has blabla, it would be much efficient and word-saving to simply say he, a 24 yr-ld, has... i k i mentioned this, but just wanna reemphasize
also, stay focus. rather than talking a bit about patience, and a bit about kindness, which reduces the focus and realism of your points, you could talk about only 1 of them. describe IN DEPTH on how you learned patience or kindness.
I'd do it this way:
intro: finish talking about what you have to do, which is to take care of Joey (AND BE DONE WITH JOEY'S DISEASES AND INABILITIES)
2nd: talk about how you took care of him, and thru the process learned something (just 1 thing).
it has to be more than simply walking him to the bathroom...frankly, not so impressive
emphasize how you felt
3rd: warp up with one or 2 sentences describing the entire experience(e.g. through my blabla months with Joey, I learned that taking good care of somebody requires tremendous patience. I was pleased though because I made a difference in Joey's life. (or something to that effect, put more emotion into it.)