Hey I just came here recently so English is still a huge problem. All criticism is appreciated. Thanks :)
How Different Can An Education Be?
Saying goodbye to the life I've known for sixteen years was not easy. Those first days of October 2010 marked a milestone of my life. Coming to the United States as a Vietnamese immigrant was both exhilarating and challenging to think about how I would adapt to this new environment. Two years later, I discovered that America has broadened my horizons and greatly affected how I now view the world.
Growing up in a relatively poor country, I was familiar with an education where teachers preached the importance of learning, but it was implicitly obvious that the utmost concern was regurgitation. Everyday, teachers wrote notes on blackboards, and we scrambled to copy them down, as neatly and quickly as possible. Teachers checked notebooks frequently and would phone parents if there were at all sloppy. Because of this strictness, I am thankful to have at least decent handwriting! There, memorization would earn anyone an A, not comprehension. When American friends asked how I study for exams, my answer was always: "Go memorize the entire notebook!"
The teachers dictated what the government wanted us to believe. Hence, the truth was sometimes disregarded. Questions and counter-arguments were discouraged because they were disrespectful. Although these teaching methods were inadequate, the Vietnamese education system stressed morality. Students are trained to dress and to behave earnestly at all times; diligence and courtesy were highly regarded.
Sometimes, I cannot fully understand what people try to tell me since, to me, this language and educational system is still new. However, school has become a whole different realm for me. Sheldon High School impressed me with its huge campus, almost the size of a university in Vietnam. Because teachers are sincerely caring and enthusiastic, they ask me how my day is. They genuinely believe that learning is the most importance objective and deeply encourage us to collaborate with each other and make use of all resources that we may find. Whether in Chemistry or English, I am required to approach all problems and ideas independently and creatively from multiple aspects, rather than simply regurgitating the teacher's words. Discussion becomes the main portion of American education; therefore, I never have to secretly yawn in class. School communities transform me from a timid sophomore into a confrontational and exuberant senior. If I have an opinion, it is more wrong not to voice it. My goal is to become a master of communication and to listen to others' thoughts in order to thoroughly understand the problem. Nevertheless, I do not mean to imply that American schools always produce perfect students-- no education system is without flaws. I have seen some disrespectful behaviors that are not well addressed. Hence, students are sometimes impolite toward teachers.
I am fortunate to have the unique opportunity to live in and to experience both societies and educational systems. I truly admire the American teaching methods that have helped me become a forward thinker. Creativity and teamwork have become essential factors for me to thrive in life. Indeed, this matter of "thinking" has been one of the most important aspects of my immigration experience. Yet, I will always treasure the Eastern values of absolute respectfulness, gratefulness, and diligence.
Choosing to change means that I must accept challenges. However, it is worth being able to discover new values of life. The key here is to preserve the virtues of Vietnamese culture and receive the suitable American methods in order to form my own individuality.
Quynh Tran
I love this essay! I would think that colleges would like to know about your weaknesses though. Sure, you are a marvelous student, but how to you handle failure, lack of success, or stress? Somehow come across that topic because these schools want to know how you'll deal with stress. Will you leave the campus if it is too hard or will you push through it? How? You're giving me the sugar coating, now let me hear about how you or came something unsucessful.
THIS IS SO GOOD! Though I don't know you, I can sense your true personality revealed through this essay. Check out mine?
as neatly and as quickly as possible
There,(be sure to restate/clarify where "there" is) memorization would earn anyone an A, not comprehension.
Transitioning from the 2nd to the 3rd paragraph, be sure to make it clear that you are talking about a different location and not still about the United States educational system!
Other than that, your essay is very clear, to the point and concise! Hope I could help in some way and good luck! :]
Joanna Ma
Thank you for all your help
Here is the revised version.
How Different Can An Education Be?
Growing up in a poor country, I was familiar with an education where teachers preached the importance of learning, but it was implicitly obvious that the utmost concern was regurgitation. Everyday, teachers wrote notes on blackboards, and we scrambled to copy them down, as neatly and quickly as possible. Teachers checked notebooks frequently and would phone parents if there were at all sloppy. Because of this strictness, I'm thankful to have at least decent handwriting! In Vietnam, memorization would earn anyone A's, not comprehension. When American friends asked how I study for exams, my answer was always: "Memorize the entire notebook!" Questions and counter-arguments were discouraged because they were disrespectful. Although these teaching methods were inadequate, the Vietnamese education system stressed morality. Students are trained to dress and to behave earnestly at all times; diligence and courtesy were highly regarded.
Sophomore year began with confusions and unfamiliarities. Saying goodbye to the life in Vietnam I've known for 15 years was not easy. It was both exhilarating and challenging to think about how I would adapt to the culture shock that almost every immigrant had experienced. Two years later, I discovered that America has broadened my horizons and greatly affected how I now view the world.
I was late the first day since the campus was huge, even bigger than a university in Vietnam. Sometimes, I cannot fully understand what people try to tell me since, to me, American language and educational system is still new. However, school has become a different realm. Although there have been nights when I only sleep for 5 hours, I rarely feel tired or discouraged. I drink coffee, splash water on my face to keep my eyes open and my head clear so that I can finish lengthy AP readings. The look my mom had when she saw me on my desk at 2 a.m, full of hope and compassion, gives me strength to overcome the stress.
Luckily, teachers are sincerely caring and enthusiastic; they ask me how my day is. They genuinely believe that learning is the most importance objective and collaboration is stretched. Whether in Chemistry or Music, I'm required to approach problems and ideas independently and creatively from multiple aspects, rather than simply regurgitating the teacher's words. Discussion becomes the main portion of American education - I never have to secretly yawn in class. School communities transform me from a timid sophomore into a confrontational and exuberant senior. If I have an opinion, it's more wrong not to voice it. My goal is to become a master of communication and to listen to others' thoughts in order to thoroughly understand the problem. However, no education system is without flaws. I have seen some disrespectful behaviors that are not well addressed. Hence, American students are sometimes impolite toward teachers.
I am fortunate to have the unique opportunity to live in and to experience both societies and educational systems. I truly admire the American teaching methods that have helped me become a forward thinker, one of the most important changes I adapt from this immigration experience. Yet, I will always treasure the Eastern values of absolute respectfulness, gratefulness, and diligence.
I accept life's challenges by choosing to change. It is worth to discover new values of life that way. I aim to preserve the virtues of Vietnamese culture and receive the suitable American methods in order to form my own individuality.
