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Common App Essay- ("I was an extremely snoopy child")


r991183878 6 / 19  
Jan 2, 2009   #1
Hi! So, I'm finished with everything, but I was wondering if anyone would like to read over my common app essay for some finishing touches? I'm evaluating a significant experience.

I would GREATLY appreciate it!! :)

In the beginning, I could not keep my eyes away. The mysterious appearance sent shivers down my spine as I heard the haunting chants of the skittish creatures. Walking through the woods wrapped around my house, I was able to escape from the typical city-life of Seattle and explore the natural world that I had always been curious about.

Although my world is dominated by the use of technology and artificial objects, I realize the importance of being in touch with nature. I often find myself wandering back to the small patch of woods in the middle of the city. It gives me a feeling that the city cannot provide; a sense of seclusion, peace, and rejuvenation.

As a youth, I was an extremely snoopy child; I loved to go through things that I wasn't supposed to be touching, exploring untraveled places within my house, or simply spying on my sister whenever I was bored. On one particular day, I decided to journey through the woods all by myself. I packed my binoculars and grabbed my throw-away camera and set off into the woods, hoping to find something rare or exciting. By the end of my quest, I had seen a couple of sparrows, odd-looking bugs, and numerous trees. I had wandered off the path and was lost in the core of the woodland, as I tried to find my way back to the main path. It was starting to lightly rain and I remember hearing what sounded like a waterfall as I made my way home. Creeping up to the sound, I remember the excitement I felt as I made my way up to the trickling sounds of a possible natural-wonder in the middle of the woods. However, I was shocked to see a large pipe expelling dirty sewer waste into the woods.

That moment was a turning point in my life. Although I was not able to fully express myself at the time, I realized the impact that humans had on the environment and the world. It was in the woods where I discovered the significance of protecting our wildlife and respecting the environment.

Seeking to gain more knowledge about wildlife, I decided to join a volunteer program called Zoo Corps, at Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle during my sophomore year of high school. I was eventually accepted into the program that spring, and it has opened my eyes to a world that I would otherwise not be able to see. Through Zoo Corps, I am able to understand fully why animals are becoming extinct and the methods that are used to protect them from their fate. In this program, I provide conservation education and increase public awareness regarding animal endangerment and environmental protection to visitors at the zoo. I believe it is important to empower people especially youth, to protect our Earth and environment, so the world can become a better place.

One of the projects I help promote is the African Wild Dog Conservation Project. The wild dog is a magnificent canine that once roamed all of pan-Africa, but has recently been confined to the small country of Botswana due to continuous poaching and habitat destruction. To increase the population, scientists are making bio-fences to help the dogs create distinct territory, so they will not roam into farmland and disrupt farmers' livestock.

I believe that my connection with nature and and my unpleasant run-in with an open-sewer has ultimately helped me find the importance of protecting our environment and has made me a more environmentally sensitive person. That day in the woods has helped me discover the importance of protecting the world around us when addressing the needs of society. By joining Zoo Corps, I have been able to enrich my knowledge about environmental science by studying and learning about the interactions and facts about animals around the world and the importance of conservation.

My determination and passion to learn more about environmental science has been fueled since joining Zoo Corps. During my college years, I plan to continue fighting for animal and nature conservation. I want my dreams to become reality, and by attending college, I will be able to gain the necessary knowledge required to become an environmental scientist and contribute back to society. I believe that my path has a purpose, and in the future, I would like to play a larger role in the conservation of endangered species and threatened ecosystems.

mjsuh90 1 / 2  
Jan 2, 2009   #2
I think it's great as it is!

I can almost picture wandering through the woods in the beginning (;
christineg711 2 / 23  
Jan 2, 2009   #3
I had wandered off the path and was lost in the core of the woodland, as I tried to find my way back to the main path

The wording seems a bit off in that sentence. (To me anyways) Maybe try "As I Tried to find my way back to the main path, I wandered off and soon found myself lost in the core of the woodland." Something like that?

"Through Zoo Corps, I am able to fully understand why..."

I believe it is important to empower people, especially youth, to protect our Earth and environment so the world can become a better place.

That day in the woods has helped me discover the importance of protecting the world around us when addressing the needs of society

By joining Zoo Corps, I have been able to enrich my knowledge about environmental science by studying and learning about the interactions and facts about animals around the world and the importance of conservation.

Maybe try "Through Zoo Corps, I have..."

Interesting topic! Good luck :)
OP r991183878 6 / 19  
Jan 2, 2009   #4
Thank you, both for the support and editing! :) I appreciate it a lot! If any others would like to comment also please feel free to
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,324 129  
Jan 3, 2009   #5
I'm so sorry I could not comment in time!! It does look great, though, as the others said. I hope you do well!!!!


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