Given below is my common app personal essay on first prompt.
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Please read my essay and suggest for improvements!
Warmth floods my heart whenever I think of my grandma, Zuleikha, fondly known as Jookka to our small town of Kannur. A core memory I cherish are my playful attempt to sneak Samoosas and Jilebis from her ever-bustling kitchen. I cherish those little adventures, even though they inevitably ended with a gentle reprimand. My mother and I had travelled to take care of my grandma who was unwell. Being unaware of her pain, I got lost in the joy of our routines. She would lovingly comb my hair, cook my favorite meals, and narrate stories of angels, jinns, and queens from our matriarchal bloodline.
Our Saturday siesta was broken by the news of her passing. For the first time in our lives, we saw our superhero-esque parents bawling their eyes out. As someone who had never experienced loss before, I couldn't comprehend what was happening. It felt simpler and more bearable to ignore her absence than face it. Yet beneath this facade, a wave of guilt and confusion hit me. In Kannur, my cousins and I were always introduced as Jookas kids. After my grandmother's passing, it felt like a part of our identity was gone forever too.
I hated the never-ending stream of visitors and shunned myself away to avoid talking. In hindsight, I know that's when I started silencing myself, afraid to say things society might consider wrong. My usual confidence was tainted with an added hesitancy, a fear of being seen and judged.
Every time I tried talking to classmates or teachers, I had a million questions. Will I be ridiculed? Does my accent sound weird? Although my rational side knew these fears were unfounded, they felt overwhelmingly real. I found myself reflexively running away from opportunities I craved and activities I would love to do. Worse was all the criticism I internalized leading to a downward spiral of self-doubt.
I found solace in books like the Arabian Nights and the Panchatantra stories, firmly believing that books could replace people. I believe I got into reading to recreate the warm feeling of listening to my grandmother's stories. Yet soon enough, the silence became unbearable, and it became clear about the human interactions I needed. Starting conversations were scary and the few times I mustered the courage to, it was awkward and brief.
After years of introspection, I realized that my fears were mostly caused by my overactive imagination. Although society aggravated it, it's pointless to blame them and not take responsibility. Around this time, I read CS Lewis' words, "You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending". Somedays I'm tempted to retreat into my shell, but his words remind me to keep pushing.
A significant turning point was in the tenth grade when I joined Toastmasters. Each session challenged me to face my fears, gradually easing me into more comfortable speaking. With every speech I gave, I was losing the fear that had stuck by me. My love for reading turned to something bigger as well. What started as a desire to share books with younger students evolved into a huge contribution to the school library. The change in me was gradual, almost unnoticeable, but the impact was profound. It wasn't about how much I spoke but the depth of my connections and learning to value my own perspective.
The journey is not over, and I recognize that life is a never-ending process of learning and growing. College will serve as a chapter in this journey, pushing me beyond my comfort zones. Each step forward on this path is a testament to the resilience instilled in me, a legacy of my grandmother's love and strength. I am excited about what adventures await me in this book of life. Whatever it may be, I hope to enjoy the fresh smell of the new pages.
Thanks for reading!!!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 There seems to be a disconnection between the death of your grandmother and the silence that you suddenly decided to adapt. How exactly does her death relate to it? What happened during her wake or burial that triggered you to suddenly be silenced? It is not clear to the reader. You should reconsider your opening scenario. Or, create the bridge that connects the death to your eventual silence. The reference to your grandmother should be more consistent in the essay as it relates to your continued silence. Actually, the essay is acceptable. It just needs additional development to make your narrative target clearer to the reader. I know it is about your development as a speaker, but the reference points need to be clearer.
