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Common app essay; Signifcant Experience - My Trip to Italy.



MikeMar 1 / 1  
Sep 29, 2012   #1
I have been told to add more insight as to how this experience was important to me. Also, I'd like to maybe improve my vocabulary and sentence structure to make it a more readable essay.

The summer of 2011 proved to be one of the best. It was the summer my family and I traveled to Italy for two weeks with my grandparents. Initially, this was just another ordinary vacation. Though I am an Italian-American, I merely looked at it as another family trip, only this time the flight was much longer. It wasn't until I arrived in Italy and spoke with my Grandmother that I realized what this vacation was really all about. My grandparents immigrated to the United States as teenagers. They left behind many of their family and friends to pursue a new life in America. What my Grandmother told me has and will stay with me for a very long time. She said this, "I was about your age when I came to America. Imagine picking up all of your things right now and moving to a foreign country. Somewhere you have never been before. Leaving your friends, family, and comfort zone to start a completely new life." These words really made me wonder. At first I thought about how hard it must have been for her and my Grandfather to grow accustomed to a whole new continent. Then, I thought about how lucky I was to have been living in one place my whole life. Finally, I wondered what kind of life my grandparents lived for the developing years of their lives. Being in Italy, I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to satisfy these curiosities. It was my chance to explore the culture of my ancestors.

Instead of a hotel, my family and I stayed with relatives. The house was not especially big, which made for close quarters with many people. In the two weeks I stayed in Italy, I feel as though I gained a new grasp on life. My Grandmother took me to her old school and house. She told me many stories about her parents and their lives. This was all a new experience for me. It allowed me to compare her childhood to mine, old Italian culture to modern American culture. This trip was not a traditional European vacation. There was no sightseeing. There was no traveling to different parts of the country. Instead, it was about the heritage, history, and culture of my family. I learned what it was like to be a real Italian. I saw how my grandparents lived when they were my age, only modernized. It may not seem like much, but this experience really means a lot to me. I would not have wished to go anywhere else, and I can only hope to return to the native land of my family.

LTC Lawrence 1 / 5  
Sep 30, 2012   #2
I think this essay is good ...but I think what U want to gain from this trip is the culture diversity .So your grandma's words do give U something ,but it's not pertinent to your parents' hardship in America...And also ,in the transition from your grandma's saying and your own thought you use "first I thought ,,,then i thought,,,finally ..."and these three subsequent realization of your ture feeling ..perhaps culture diversity ...is an expositon and not vivid enough...


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