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Common App Significant Experience: "The Road Less Traveled By"



Gailees 1 / 2  
Sep 19, 2010   #1
Common Application Personal Essay: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference"
-Robert Frost

That July 2nd, 2008, will forever remain in my mind is incontrovertible. Riding up and down the hills of Ocala, Florida, on the back of an ATV with my best friend, Austin, at the helm, I felt safe and secure. I decided to bring Austin with me to go to the 2008 Pepsi 400 at Daytona International Speedway. Because I had been driving ATVs since I was six, I felt it only right to teach my best friend how to drive one. Everything was fine until my Cubs baseball cap flew off of my head and I realized that we had reached almost 50 mph. Divested of my safety and security, I began yelling at my friend to slow down and only received the naive response: "This thing weighs a ton; it's not like it's just gonna flip!" Within seconds, my body lay at rest on the ground, my arm hanging beside me. Although accidents like this one usually seem to be curses, mine resulted in one of the greatest blessings of my life: I discovered more about myself than I could have ever imagined.

At the onset of sophomore year, it seemed that my only extracurricular activity would be the therapy which I required to regain movement of my right arm, function of my right hip, and posture of my spine. Stripped of almost all hope of doing anything besides therapy, I happened upon one of the most amazing opportunities of my life. One day, my theology teacher, Ms. Myrick, told me that they needed more men for the school musical. I always had some interest in singing and performing but never thought to participate in a school play, especially now. Regardless, Ms. Myrick and the drama teacher, Mr. Seeger, encouraged me and told me that I could overcome my initial hesitation and contribute in a meaningful way to the school. Juggling three hours of drama, followed by an hour of therapy, on top of school and homework, I realized that through hard work and determination, anything is possible. Since my debut into the performing arts, I have won singing competitions, played big and small roles in shows, and found myself debating with some of Florida's best high school debaters. Whether I am dancing in Cinderella, playing a supporting role in Animal Farm as Boxer, singing on a stage in front of over 500 people, or speaking in States for mock congress, I see my accident as the "the road less traveled" that helped make me who I am today. Thinking "I can't possibly shoulder this huge burden" got me nowhere, but by taking action and having a great time witnessing the fruits of my labor both in school and out of school, I transformed into a new person.

Physically, I gain more function every day; mentally, I realize that I have learned countless lessons from my accident. I have learned to forgive. I have learned that I have a deep wellspring of talents still to be discovered. But, most importantly, I have learned that I can thrive in adversity. On July 2nd I began my journey, not by choice but by force, down "the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

zcampbell 2 / 6  
Sep 20, 2010   #2
This essay is great. I hate to say this because I know how it feels on the receiving end, but I do not think that you need to add or change much at all.

it seemed that my only extracurricular activity would be the therapy which I required (I would change which to that)

Other than that, I really see nothing to change. Just read through it a few times, and make sure it sounds like you are actually saying it.
OP Gailees 1 / 2  
Sep 20, 2010   #3
haha nah that actually makes me feel good bc i've been doing a ton of refining to try and get it to where i want it...only 1 suggestion I'm specifically looking for and its on the "I have learned that I have a deep wellspring of talents still to be discovered. But, most importantly, I have learned that I can thrive in adversity." line only bc i dont really feel like that is the language i would use in real life...sooo yeah if anyone has any suggestions for alternative things to substitute there that would be great.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Sep 22, 2010   #4
incontrovertible

strange word to use. You can write that you learned incontrovertible truths about yourself, but the day cannot be incontrovertible.

I have learned that I have a deep wellspring of talents still to be discovered. ----nice! Looks like one of those talents is writing. You did a great job with this.

I wonder if you can incorporate something about what you learned about what you want to do for your career.
OP Gailees 1 / 2  
Sep 22, 2010   #5
The subject is not the day but rather the whole clause following that, at least, that's what my english teacher told me upon reading that sentence. While at first it may seem that the subject is the specific day, the subject is actually the entire clause:

"That July 2nd, 2008, will forever remain in my mind"
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Sep 26, 2010   #6
Oh!! Yes, I had read it wrong. I see what you mean!!!! :-)


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