Hi there,
I would really appreciate it if someone can check my short essay for the common app. It has to be less than 150 words, which makes it really hard. However, I'm having a lot of trouble with smooth flow and transition of the essay. So can someone look an see if there is anything that I should fix, or that I may have over looked? I am especially worried about the parts where I say "Playing tennis, helped me do this. Playing tennis helped me do that."
Prompt:
Please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) (150 words or fewer).
One of the best decisions of my life was joining the tennis team in the spring of 2008. This decision literally changed my high school life, and got me where I am today. At first, I had no intention of joining any team in my high school career, because in foresight I didn't see much benefit in it. I couldn't have been more wrong. Playing tennis was how I made many new friends and met the dozens of others I have today through them. Playing tennis was how I realized the benefits and importance of fitness and established a healthy hobby. Most importantly, however, it was through tennis that I gained the self-confidence I have today. Tennis made me realize that I could be more if I wanted; all I had to do was to take the first step.
Current word count: 139
I would really appreciate it if someone can check my short essay for the common app. It has to be less than 150 words, which makes it really hard. However, I'm having a lot of trouble with smooth flow and transition of the essay. So can someone look an see if there is anything that I should fix, or that I may have over looked? I am especially worried about the parts where I say "Playing tennis, helped me do this. Playing tennis helped me do that."
Prompt:
Please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) (150 words or fewer).
One of the best decisions of my life was joining the tennis team in the spring of 2008. This decision literally changed my high school life, and got me where I am today. At first, I had no intention of joining any team in my high school career, because in foresight I didn't see much benefit in it. I couldn't have been more wrong. Playing tennis was how I made many new friends and met the dozens of others I have today through them. Playing tennis was how I realized the benefits and importance of fitness and established a healthy hobby. Most importantly, however, it was through tennis that I gained the self-confidence I have today. Tennis made me realize that I could be more if I wanted; all I had to do was to take the first step.
Current word count: 139