The is my essay for the common application: indicate a person who had a significant influence on you and describe that influence. I would appreciate any feedback and/or suggestions. Also I was wondering, do theses need to have a title, and if so does anyone have any ideas?
He was a coach for our football team's bitter rival. He killed a young girl in a drunk driving accident, yet he's a man I respect and admire. He has taught me more about football, hard work, and life in just three years than people I've known for my whole life.
It was the summer before my tenth grade year. My football coach told us we would be getting a new coach from Windber, our biggest rivals. The next day when he showed up, he certainly wasn't shy. He wasted no time in yelling at us, correcting our mistakes, and making us work harder than we ever had before. He sounds like a jerk, right? We thought the same thing at first, but throughout that season we got to know him better and realized that he wasn't strict and demanding because he hated us, but because he wanted us to be as good as we could be.
During football camp we learned the reason he wasn't coaching for our rivals anymore. Two winters before he was in a drunk driving accident and killed a teenage girl. He was immediately shunned by his entire school district, longtime friends wouldn't talk to him anymore, his fiancé left him, and he was fired from his teaching and coaching position.
Our team had been below .500 for the past five years, but that year with him we won six of ten games, the next year eight of twelve, and so far this year eight of nine games. There is no doubt in my mind that the biggest reason for our success is because of his active role with us year-round working in the weight room or on the practice field, pushing us more than we were ever pushed before he came.
What impacted me more than anything was seeing his work ethic and devotion and how much he cared for the students at our school, even the ones who didn't play football. The entire off-season he spends every day after school with the football players and other athletes in the weight room while still working a full-time job. During football camp he's with us from eight in the morning to eight at night, and he still works the night shift for eight hours. What is intriguing about him is he is such a smart individual, but because of one bad decision he works as a welder and an assistant coach and goes on two to four hours of sleep per night.
He's taught me far more than I could ever put into words, but some of what he has taught me is, no matter how smart or talented you are, you can throw it all away with even one bad choice. Even if you do throw it away, you can still overcome your mistakes and live a happy and rewarding life. When you make a mistake, it's your responsibility to fix it. Another huge lesson he's taught me is that you can't judge someone by one mistake. Every person, extraordinary or average, has made mistakes. It's not about the mistakes you make; it's how you overcome them. And the most important thing I've learned from him is your success is directly related to how hard you work. His example, positive and negative, is something I will never forget. I intend to learn from his mistakes, and I will strive to be as determined, caring, genuine, and diligent as he is.
He was a coach for our football team's bitter rival. He killed a young girl in a drunk driving accident, yet he's a man I respect and admire. He has taught me more about football, hard work, and life in just three years than people I've known for my whole life.
It was the summer before my tenth grade year. My football coach told us we would be getting a new coach from Windber, our biggest rivals. The next day when he showed up, he certainly wasn't shy. He wasted no time in yelling at us, correcting our mistakes, and making us work harder than we ever had before. He sounds like a jerk, right? We thought the same thing at first, but throughout that season we got to know him better and realized that he wasn't strict and demanding because he hated us, but because he wanted us to be as good as we could be.
During football camp we learned the reason he wasn't coaching for our rivals anymore. Two winters before he was in a drunk driving accident and killed a teenage girl. He was immediately shunned by his entire school district, longtime friends wouldn't talk to him anymore, his fiancé left him, and he was fired from his teaching and coaching position.
Our team had been below .500 for the past five years, but that year with him we won six of ten games, the next year eight of twelve, and so far this year eight of nine games. There is no doubt in my mind that the biggest reason for our success is because of his active role with us year-round working in the weight room or on the practice field, pushing us more than we were ever pushed before he came.
What impacted me more than anything was seeing his work ethic and devotion and how much he cared for the students at our school, even the ones who didn't play football. The entire off-season he spends every day after school with the football players and other athletes in the weight room while still working a full-time job. During football camp he's with us from eight in the morning to eight at night, and he still works the night shift for eight hours. What is intriguing about him is he is such a smart individual, but because of one bad decision he works as a welder and an assistant coach and goes on two to four hours of sleep per night.
He's taught me far more than I could ever put into words, but some of what he has taught me is, no matter how smart or talented you are, you can throw it all away with even one bad choice. Even if you do throw it away, you can still overcome your mistakes and live a happy and rewarding life. When you make a mistake, it's your responsibility to fix it. Another huge lesson he's taught me is that you can't judge someone by one mistake. Every person, extraordinary or average, has made mistakes. It's not about the mistakes you make; it's how you overcome them. And the most important thing I've learned from him is your success is directly related to how hard you work. His example, positive and negative, is something I will never forget. I intend to learn from his mistakes, and I will strive to be as determined, caring, genuine, and diligent as he is.
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