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Common application (my IT skills)



gkuizinas 1 / -  
Dec 14, 2009   #1
Which of these texts is the best? Or aren't they good at all. They aren't gramatically perfect, though I am asking about the contents. If they are so bad, how should I try to elaborate an essay like that?

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

In the period from 10th grade to 12th I have decided to elaborate my IT skills on more academic fields. Since then it was thesaurus, online school newspaper & essays shop that I have developed. As though it would be not enough, I got inspiration as they became more and more known and I had to spend time probably not reasonable for scholar extracurricular activities. However, expected or not, my academic achievements didn't go down; ironically they went skyrocket up having in mind the time I spend "learning". Seems like while collecting database for thesaurus, my Lithuanian language dictionary expanded colossally and while writing articles for newspaper and reviewing essays for mistakes I learned more and more vivid information then ever which helped me latter, during the test works. My guess is that I think it was then that I understood the power of liberal arts.

This is not an activity upon which I have briefly discussed in a previous data, though it was of significant meaning. It has happened on December, 2009; together with a girl in the class we have given a project for school musical play on send-off occasion. I remember all the small stuff I had to do: organize the original script of the Queens WWRY, translate it, design the awarding medal for school-leavers. On 10 February 2009, 6:00 PM the show has started. The moment curtains had dropped my interview for ROTARY scholarship was over. Ironically, I was the only person not to see the show & the camera man forgot to turn on the recorder. I guess what I have learned here was that it is not important to be the man in the spotlight to be happy. Sometimes it's good feeling just to read about what you have done.

After I have turned Art school for exact sciences, naturally many things had to change. You'd think that it would be a breeding-ground for programming to finally take over any other interests, and yet nothing of the kind has happened. It turned out that while in mathematicians school I've began to participate in more vivid range of contest and then, surprisingly, new surroundings helped me to understand the value of what I have been thought. I have begun surprising my friends with presents of my own creation, while school administration thanked me for each award that I brought to school. And as for today, various forms of art I try to attune while working or doing algebra. Imagine how much I have saved since 10th grade on pairs of compasses.

meisj0n 8 / 214  
Dec 14, 2009   #2
IT skills on more academic fields.

what is IT

Since then it was thesaurus, online school newspaper & essays shop that I have developed.

I'm confused

scholar extracurricular activities.

phrasing is strange

However, expected or not, my

take out expected or not

ironically they went skyrocket up having in mind the time I spend "learning".

i get the irony.. but what do you mean by that latter part

Seems like while collecting database for thesaurus, my Lithuanian language dictionary expanded colossally and while writing articles for newspaper and reviewing essays for mistakes I learned more and more vivid information then ever which helped me latter, during the test works.

run-on? I don't get the whole picture here. why are you writing about all these things? For draft 1, make sure tense is consistent. also, make sure you focus on one part...IT? what is that, what did you do with it, what did you learn? etc

draft 2...I'm lost. sorry, I dont see the point of saying...this was something I did that meant a lot. maybe rephrase? I'm confused...seriously

Ok...So I'm guessing you're either ESL...or I'm just not getting what you're going at. The idea in the third draft is somewhat there...but I don't get an overall epiphany.. what did you do? make art pictures using a compass? program things on a computer to draw circles? pray tell. I'll try helping you with a solid idea. but i need the idea and the points first.

EDIT* Ah. I see..content.

about your first one, make sure you lay out what you want to talk about, then describe what that activity was (briefly if it is obvious), then elaborate on what you learned, how it affected you, maybe why it is important to you...maybe same for the other ones.


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