Movie departure resonates with anyone who has ever buried a love one, let alone I was tasted to be a "departure" personally. "Dressing for death must be unpeaceful", I thought in this way previously, because death always a sensitive subject. But since processed the baptism of life, I changed my mind.
When she was alive, my best friend's mother once expressed a wishthatthat she would be cremated when she died. She wanted to be made up by a familiar person, because she was "shy with strangers". Three days later, she was gone. It was a surprise to me later when Jin asked me to make up for her mother. I instinctively felt anxious and panic, which is somehow even greater than the sadness I felt. Just like the majority people, I'm no exception at fearing death and something connected with death closely. Noticing my hesitation, Jin held my hands and expected me to give her an affirmative reply. I nodded.
Entering the mourning hall, pious eyes always focused on me. Time seemed stop and nobody cried. Jin's family and I saluted to each other, and then gave Aunty Sunflowers with blessings. The coffin had a controlled temperature of -20℃, which made me feel cold. Meeting her again，I could clearly see her face, a face full of peace and serenity. I stood next to her. She was so placid. I involuntarily touched her hands, but she did not smile to me again. I wanted to cry, at the mercy of an instant emotion, but I could not. As I looked at her, the anxiety I felt started to cease. I had to start to put on make-up for her now, with my shivering fingers. I tried my best to make the pigment well-distributed on her cold face in order to make her look tender and rosy, as beautiful as when she was alive. Gradually, her reddish cheek and glowing eyes made me feel she revived. As time passed, I even forgot she was dead, and we placed in mourning hall, I was absorbed in the tendency of paint brush, I felt the distance between us disappeared -the distance between dead and alive, the distance between trepidation and calmness. Death is a just part of whole life.
Accidentally, I had used the wrong pigment to paint her eyebrow, which was hard to repaint. I felt anxious and wanted to look for the professional undertaker. But all in a sudden, I saw something on her face. I saw calmness and confidence. It recalled me the time I spent with her. Although she died from cancer, what she had taught me would never fade away. "Be confident." her voice echoed in my head, "You see, although I know the hope is really slim, I still believe I can live." Then, she smiled. She failed to win the battle with the decease, but she won the war with herself. With confidence, she enjoyed the rest of her life. "Try your best and be confident no matter what happens, and you will never lose." Her philosophy encouraged me again. I started again, with patience and the faith to succeed. Finally, I finish my work in forty minutes: she still lay in the cold coffin, but seemed enjoying a deep sleep.
Those gold sunflowers set off aunty very well. I gazed at Aunty May for the last time, and said Good bye to her. Then the coffin was pushed in the cremation; I hope her trip into a new world would be as beautiful as the life she had. I developed a deep respect for life in all its serenity and a profound empathy for people trying to make peace with the finality of death. Because of noreason for exception, I realized that "difficulty" and "fear" were only concepts defined by other people. If I wanted to know , I should experience the feelings myself. From Aunty's philosophy and her grace in death, I gained real life gifts. In the future I also will have to struggle with opportunities and difficulties , but I would not hesitate ever again as I learnt how to use the fearless key, named "confidence".
"Death is not an end, but a beginning, a beginning of a brand new voyage." As the movie saying, that was my brand-new feeling about departure, about death.
When she was alive, my best friend's mother once expressed a wishthatthat she would be cremated when she died. She wanted to be made up by a familiar person, because she was "shy with strangers". Three days later, she was gone. It was a surprise to me later when Jin asked me to make up for her mother. I instinctively felt anxious and panic, which is somehow even greater than the sadness I felt. Just like the majority people, I'm no exception at fearing death and something connected with death closely. Noticing my hesitation, Jin held my hands and expected me to give her an affirmative reply. I nodded.
Entering the mourning hall, pious eyes always focused on me. Time seemed stop and nobody cried. Jin's family and I saluted to each other, and then gave Aunty Sunflowers with blessings. The coffin had a controlled temperature of -20℃, which made me feel cold. Meeting her again，I could clearly see her face, a face full of peace and serenity. I stood next to her. She was so placid. I involuntarily touched her hands, but she did not smile to me again. I wanted to cry, at the mercy of an instant emotion, but I could not. As I looked at her, the anxiety I felt started to cease. I had to start to put on make-up for her now, with my shivering fingers. I tried my best to make the pigment well-distributed on her cold face in order to make her look tender and rosy, as beautiful as when she was alive. Gradually, her reddish cheek and glowing eyes made me feel she revived. As time passed, I even forgot she was dead, and we placed in mourning hall, I was absorbed in the tendency of paint brush, I felt the distance between us disappeared -the distance between dead and alive, the distance between trepidation and calmness. Death is a just part of whole life.
Accidentally, I had used the wrong pigment to paint her eyebrow, which was hard to repaint. I felt anxious and wanted to look for the professional undertaker. But all in a sudden, I saw something on her face. I saw calmness and confidence. It recalled me the time I spent with her. Although she died from cancer, what she had taught me would never fade away. "Be confident." her voice echoed in my head, "You see, although I know the hope is really slim, I still believe I can live." Then, she smiled. She failed to win the battle with the decease, but she won the war with herself. With confidence, she enjoyed the rest of her life. "Try your best and be confident no matter what happens, and you will never lose." Her philosophy encouraged me again. I started again, with patience and the faith to succeed. Finally, I finish my work in forty minutes: she still lay in the cold coffin, but seemed enjoying a deep sleep.
Those gold sunflowers set off aunty very well. I gazed at Aunty May for the last time, and said Good bye to her. Then the coffin was pushed in the cremation; I hope her trip into a new world would be as beautiful as the life she had. I developed a deep respect for life in all its serenity and a profound empathy for people trying to make peace with the finality of death. Because of noreason for exception, I realized that "difficulty" and "fear" were only concepts defined by other people. If I wanted to know , I should experience the feelings myself. From Aunty's philosophy and her grace in death, I gained real life gifts. In the future I also will have to struggle with opportunities and difficulties , but I would not hesitate ever again as I learnt how to use the fearless key, named "confidence".
"Death is not an end, but a beginning, a beginning of a brand new voyage." As the movie saying, that was my brand-new feeling about departure, about death.
