commonapp essay- elaborate an activity- tutor

Hi. I'm an international student, so I specially worry about my essay. Could you read my essay and give me advices to improve it?

The images of ragged boys selling newspapers in my street obsessed me many days and urged me to do something to help them. I immediately registered to be a volunteer tutor teaching street children in my district.

On first days, teaching was not easy as I thought. I remember a number of times I annoyed when they did not finish exercises, lost their books and even was absent from my class. However, as I understood their difficulties, there are only empathy and admiring I felt for them. It encouraged me to try my best to teach them knowledge, give them advices, and become their true friend.

Now, after a long time of teaching, I only felt happy when recalling their warmly greeting faces, the name "Big Brother "they called me and their interesting questions they incessantly asked about life. Helping these children taught me how to appreciate what I have, how to stand on my own feet, and especially, how to share with other people.

You might want to add a bit more detail about why you decided to become a tutor. At the moment, your intro is a bit abrupt. Apart from that:

Seeing so many ragged boys selling newspapers in my street made me think about how important it was that they got a good education. In order to help them. I decided to register to be a volunteer tutor teaching street children in my district.

On my first day, I realized that teaching was not going to be as easy as I had thought. Many of the students were reluctant to learn, and I began to grow increasingly annoyed when they did not finish their exercises, or lost their books, or even simply started skipping sessions. However, I understood their difficulties, and so I persevered, relying on my empathy for them to give me strength. This encouraged me to try my best to teach them, give them advice, and become their true friend.

Now, after a long period of adjustment on both sides, most of my students show up promptly for their sessions, and we always greet each other warmly. Many have bestowed upon me the nickname of "Big Brother." They call me at home for advice and to get answers to interesting questions they incessantly ask about life. Helping these children has taught me how to appreciate what I have, how to stand on my own feet, and especially, how to share with other people.

Where is this street that is the setting for this first sentence? I think this essay will engage the reader more if you mention the city and/or country in this first sentence. This is a GREAT contribution you made by acting as an older brother. How many children do you think you helped as a tutor? Tell the reader what the outcome of your help was for some of them. I think this essay will do very well, because it gives the reader a good feeling about you.