CommonApp ExtraCurricular Essay "Bringing a community together"

Bringing a community together and enriching others is what I had in mind when I established African Culture Club at my high school. With the help of three of my friends, the idea of introducing foreign cultures to our classmates became reality. Through African Culture Club, we raised awareness of multiple African cultures by introducing local food, clothing and traditions. The creation of the club also created a sense of community and pride which became highly evident at our club meetings. What had started off as just an idea, became the medium for students to appreciate richness of the African cultures. The fact that this club will continue after I am gone is a source of satisfaction.

All comments are appreciated!

I love it not only because I am African but its well written.
I only have a few suggestions. Since they want to know about you and your interests, maybe talk about why you created it. Because the question they will be asking themselves is: why would someone just randomly create an African club. By looking at your name, i think I can safely say that you are African and that may have been why.

Also try to answer these questions when writing your essay. "how did you learn from it", How did others learn from it?

Maybe you might also want to add how many people where in the program and how often yall meet. That adds some validity into your essay.

I hope this helps. Could you look at mine please. Its the really long one