I know it's kinda late to proofread at this time, but please help. Thanks a lot
It was a pouring Saturday night four years ago when an important turning-point in my life was made. Like every normal Saturday night, I was exhausted from school in the morning and two extra classes in the afternoon while still having another one in the evening. Truly, I had been a perfectly docile kid who studied very hard, but I never had an opinion for my education, just did what I was told to do, considering it a peremptory duty to study. The extra class I was having next, for example, was so horrible. I hated it badly. All I was supposed to do was solve unchalleged math problems and show work in the exact layout that the teacher wanted. Its curriculum was also terribly delayed compared to school; there seemed to be no meaning to attend that class. But now, I had to run in the rain, sustain the wet, the bitter cold and the itches spreading all over my body, just to get tortured . I felt so resentful that for the first time, the foolhardy intention to shirk the class came to my mind. Without considering carefully, I plunged into a murky net cafe, ignorant of the consequences waiting for me ahead.
I happily sat down at a computer, enjoyed the steaming cup of tea. I couldn't avoid the excitement while playing the one fascinating game I saw my cousin playing couple times, instead of sitting tiredly in that stupid class. However, my happiness didn't last long. As, my stuffiness disappeared; I immediately realized that the atmosphere was fulfilled with tobacco smoke and some kind of tainted meat-like smell. Even worse, I couldn't get rid of the shameful images of human copulation on the nearby screen. Confronted with such a perverted world, abhorrent of everything around, I gradually discerned the seriousness of my crime. After every passing minute, I became more confused and anxious, also tormented with remorse. Twenty minutes before the class dismissal, I left the net cafe, moved quickly and hid in a nook near the classroom, about to mingle with the crowd of students, sneaking like a thief in defiance of skeptical stares from people walking along. Just a few minutes notwithstanding, it was indeed my longest wait ever.
However, my dad came so late that everybody else was all gone, leaving me there alone.
"Why do you come so late, dad? I have been waiting so long" - I assumed innocence, realizing that he looked very tired.
"I'm very sorry. I had an urgent meeting, so that couldn't pick you up on time."
We finally got back home; I breathed a sigh of relief while everything seemed to be going fine.
"Minh!" - My dad suddenly called me in such an unusually serious tone, startling me to death.
"I am now giving you the last chance to confess your fault!"
I was immediately petrified with utter fear; my stomach started rumbling and writhing. My thought became extremely confused. "What is going on? Why is he saying that? Why is he declaring such a thing that assertively? He must have known everything..." Having no courage to look at his disappointed countenance, I slowly hung my head in shame, willing to accept the punishment.
Later, I would find out that that night, an urgent meeting really existed, making my father unable to pick me up. Therefore, he went to the class to notice me of going home by myself. Obviously, he couldn't find his son in the classroom. Extremely worried, even afraid that I was abducted, he rummaged everywhere to look for me, forgetting all about his important business. In the end, he also had his inherent absolute trust in me totally collapsed. However, left in me was an unforgettable experience, an inestimable lesson of being deliberate in action and responsible for it. Furthermore, I learned to be independent, decisive, to invest passion and perseverance in my own education. I began selecting suitable extra classes and programs; one of them was English Summer Camp, which greatly inspired me to study abroad in the United States. After researching carefully, I was finally determined to walk the path of an exchange student; although I discerned clearly the arduousness I would be confronted with. Now, I am applying for the college I fall in love with, deciding on the major I'm truly interested in, making one of the most important choices in my life.
It was a rainy Saturday night four years ago when I reached an important turning-point in my life.
All I was supposed to do was solve unchallenging math problems and...
I happily sat down at a computer and enjoyed the steaming cup of tea.
Try to say things with fewer words, so the phrases can be succinct and powerful:
Later, I would find out later that that night that an urgent meeting really had taken place, making my father unable to pick me up.
Extremely worried, even afraid that I had been abducted, he ...
So, about the title, we just need to make each title unique, so decide on any title you like for this essay... perhaps Common Ap. Essay (an inestimable lesson)?
Thanks for the post! This is an entertaining and meaningful story. It would be better if you could connect the experience directly to your intended major or life goals (even if those may change). I think this essay will get a good response from the admissions people.
