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CommonApp main transfer essay BUSINESS DREAM



CANWANG 1 / 1  
Feb 8, 2014   #1
I am applying to transfer this fall. Please be harsh on my essay, it will probably determine whether or not I will get in my dream school( NYU, Cornell,etc.)

"I want to design the massager with the shape of a turkey drumstick... what about a DIY kitchen in my university? Why not create a game with the virtual experience of climbing Mount Everest?" I scribbled these down on my notebook, which I call "the Business Rhapsody". Miserably perplexed as I was when I began my introspection, I found out I crave for an opportunity to turn my somehow unsubstantiated ideas into concrete plans.

Waking up 5 o'clock in the morning to deal with statistics, covering more than 10 miles every day just to find another place to site the new Italian restaurant, I was drafting a business plan with my Malaysian friend, Andrew. When it came to managing mode, I attempted to localize it with Chinese characteristics. Though I am eager to give a try on my fresh plan, the only feedback was the gloomy market research results: a number of businesses in Mainland China are still at their initial stage, bringing profit by compressing labor costs, even by polluting the environment, without the application of modern technology and scientific management methods; costumers in my country embrace imported food. Thus, a few Chinese entrepreneurs insist on driving out foreign businesses to revive domestic economy. .

Afterwards, I participated in China's Macroeconomic BBS, hoping to find solutions from local entrepreneurs and economists. The more I engaged, the clearer I began realizing my lack of the cutting-edge theoretical knowledge in economics. However, back to classes, I found that my current course, which emphasizes more on the theoretical problem, failed to offer me what I truly wanted to learn: a holistic mastery of economics as well as interdisciplinary courses such as psychology. I think purely mathematical models are hard to explain what the real world is and how psychology affects people to make decisions. But based on actual investigation and a more comprehensive perspective of economics even if we could not put forward certain new ideas, we are at least capable of telling what the real word is; and this is, in my eyes, the core of economics. Holding on this belief, I do appreciate the opinion of Ronald Harry Coase, of course and the attitude of Abalkin as well.

Therefore, I need a steady shift from abundant theories to applied field. While during my undergraduate studies in the near future, I hope, with the bachelor degree of economics, doors will be opened to my ability to realize my entrepreneurial rhapsody with concrete plans to change the business pattern in my country. In addition, I am eager to step out of the comfort zone, which I consider is significant to a valuable college experience. Furthermore, though I have made the most of my life here: joining student government, lead clubs, doing researches on economics and looking for part-time jobs while study for my classes, I still find life here not " typical college life" I long for: far from adequate activities. Besides, I am eager to communicate with students from different backgrounds as I value the facilitating beauty of diversity.

I am looking for a university with numerous extracurricular activities and a liberal arts program in economics specifically geared for its utility in real world, a program that can help me equip with scientific approaches, feasible and easy to operate by ultimately attributing to the real life and making renewal decision more comprehensive, realistic and reasonable.

Never stopping to add one more tip on my "Business Rhapsody" every day, I believe someday I will be equipped with the knowledge to make them into reality.

sandipsinh 37 / 88  
Feb 12, 2014   #2
Miserably perplex i was when i started
As is not required as it change the meaning of your idea.


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