Here's a draft of my Common App personal Statement! Please share your thoughts and honest opinions. Critiques are very much welcome C:
Topic: Past challenges/failures and lessons learned.
"Attention!" at the familiar command, my peers and I hurriedly stopped our push-ups and stood at attention. Sweat trickled down into my eyes, my skin burning under the tropical Indonesian sun. My arms were screaming in protest, and my palms stung after having been slightly burned by the hot pavement. Despite all that, I maintained the perfect posture: Chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in, eyes front. Feet together, toes at a 45-degree angle. I repeated this mantra in my head as the instructors meticulously inspected the uniform I had spent hours ironing last night while silently hoping it hadn't been creased. This was my life at Taruna Nusantara High School, a stringent military-style regime I ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past three years.
Growing up, I spent my childhood moving from place to place. Each new town was a fresh canvas offering new opportunities and adventures, but simultaneously, they were exercises in impermanence.
After nine schools, being the "new guy" in class is one thing I've gotten good at. I could befriend anyone, fit into whatever environment lay before me, and yet, I found it difficult to forge lasting relationships in these alien environments. Year after year, I would connect with people and make new friends, only to move away and lose contact. Somewhere along the road, I even got used to the goodbyes. Perhaps, influenced in part by this, I decided to enrol into Taruna Nusantara, a boarding high school administered by the Indonesian Ministry of Defense.
"A fresh, new journey awaited me," I thought then.
My naïve preconceptions of the high school experience were swiftly upturned the moment I stepped foot on the campus. As my car passed the checkpoint, I saw a group of seniors jogging at breakneck pace synchronously in three ranks, chanting, "Left. Left. Left, right, left." I felt like I was on a different planet. The regimented curriculum of the school, which integrated military discipline and drills, stood in stark contrast to the liberal, academics-oriented environments of my previous schools. Only then did I realize what I had signed myself up for.
Here, our daily activities, from the early morning reveille to the late-night study sessions, are meticulously organized, leaving little room for idle moments. Every element of our daily lives, from communal dining to our seamless movement across the campus, was orchestrated precisely, emphasizing uniformity and collective harmony. What little time I had left was filled with additional responsibilities, such as taking roll calls, hand-washing and ironing laundry, shining shoes, and even polishing my belt. Initially, this highly structured environment seemed daunting and oppressive. I felt my freedom was restricted, my identity challenged, and my pursuit of personal interests hindered. During the first few months, we weren't allowed phones and couldn't contact our parents or relatives, which left me feeling anxious and alone.
But as I adapted to the pace of activities, I began to appreciate this holistic education system that places importance not only on academic excellence but also on physical fitness and character development. The relentless pace and various unique challenges a boarding school provides propelled me to push my limits and adapt to demanding circumstances. I acquired vital life skills, mastering the art of enduring physical exertion and overcoming mental fatigue. I practiced efficient time management and learned self-leadership tricks, which helped me manage the hefty academic burden and even win a medal in Indonesia's National Science Olympiad, something I couldn't even come close to achieving during my previous years in conventional schools. Moreover, enduring these challenges alongside my peers cultivated a profound sense of camaraderie and teamwork, forging bonds deeply rooted in our collective experience.
Three years later, I stand proudly at attention as I approach graduation, seeing my ironed uniform not as a token of hardship but one of honor, earned through grit and perseverance. While stifling at first, this school's demanding environment pushed me to greater heights I could not reach otherwise. Through the brisk runs, long marches, and early morning wake-up calls, I emerged not just academically empowered, but also emotionally tethered to a band of brothers forged in sweat and shared hardship. Thank you, Taruna Nusantara; more than just lessons, you gave me a home.
Topic: Past challenges/failures and lessons learned.
"Attention!" at the familiar command, my peers and I hurriedly stopped our push-ups and stood at attention. Sweat trickled down into my eyes, my skin burning under the tropical Indonesian sun. My arms were screaming in protest, and my palms stung after having been slightly burned by the hot pavement. Despite all that, I maintained the perfect posture: Chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in, eyes front. Feet together, toes at a 45-degree angle. I repeated this mantra in my head as the instructors meticulously inspected the uniform I had spent hours ironing last night while silently hoping it hadn't been creased. This was my life at Taruna Nusantara High School, a stringent military-style regime I ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past three years.
Growing up, I spent my childhood moving from place to place. Each new town was a fresh canvas offering new opportunities and adventures, but simultaneously, they were exercises in impermanence.
After nine schools, being the "new guy" in class is one thing I've gotten good at. I could befriend anyone, fit into whatever environment lay before me, and yet, I found it difficult to forge lasting relationships in these alien environments. Year after year, I would connect with people and make new friends, only to move away and lose contact. Somewhere along the road, I even got used to the goodbyes. Perhaps, influenced in part by this, I decided to enrol into Taruna Nusantara, a boarding high school administered by the Indonesian Ministry of Defense.
"A fresh, new journey awaited me," I thought then.
My naïve preconceptions of the high school experience were swiftly upturned the moment I stepped foot on the campus. As my car passed the checkpoint, I saw a group of seniors jogging at breakneck pace synchronously in three ranks, chanting, "Left. Left. Left, right, left." I felt like I was on a different planet. The regimented curriculum of the school, which integrated military discipline and drills, stood in stark contrast to the liberal, academics-oriented environments of my previous schools. Only then did I realize what I had signed myself up for.
Here, our daily activities, from the early morning reveille to the late-night study sessions, are meticulously organized, leaving little room for idle moments. Every element of our daily lives, from communal dining to our seamless movement across the campus, was orchestrated precisely, emphasizing uniformity and collective harmony. What little time I had left was filled with additional responsibilities, such as taking roll calls, hand-washing and ironing laundry, shining shoes, and even polishing my belt. Initially, this highly structured environment seemed daunting and oppressive. I felt my freedom was restricted, my identity challenged, and my pursuit of personal interests hindered. During the first few months, we weren't allowed phones and couldn't contact our parents or relatives, which left me feeling anxious and alone.
But as I adapted to the pace of activities, I began to appreciate this holistic education system that places importance not only on academic excellence but also on physical fitness and character development. The relentless pace and various unique challenges a boarding school provides propelled me to push my limits and adapt to demanding circumstances. I acquired vital life skills, mastering the art of enduring physical exertion and overcoming mental fatigue. I practiced efficient time management and learned self-leadership tricks, which helped me manage the hefty academic burden and even win a medal in Indonesia's National Science Olympiad, something I couldn't even come close to achieving during my previous years in conventional schools. Moreover, enduring these challenges alongside my peers cultivated a profound sense of camaraderie and teamwork, forging bonds deeply rooted in our collective experience.
Three years later, I stand proudly at attention as I approach graduation, seeing my ironed uniform not as a token of hardship but one of honor, earned through grit and perseverance. While stifling at first, this school's demanding environment pushed me to greater heights I could not reach otherwise. Through the brisk runs, long marches, and early morning wake-up calls, I emerged not just academically empowered, but also emotionally tethered to a band of brothers forged in sweat and shared hardship. Thank you, Taruna Nusantara; more than just lessons, you gave me a home.
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