The community service - Why Tulane? ; Major - Political Science/ International Relations

Is this okay?

The first thing that attracted me to Tulane, was the community service aspect. Community service has always been a huge part of my life ever since I was a little and my mom traveled to Asia after the tsunami in 2004. After my mother returned she encouraged me to help my community in any way I can. I have volunteered in soup kitchens and hospitals. I also lead with a new service initiative at my school called Stop Hunger, which is a global project that packages food to send to developing countries. Furthermore, I have been to India several times as the daughter of Indian immigrants and every single time I have seen a malnourished child begging on the street. My dream is to allow children in India the same privileges children have in the United States so they never have to live on the streets. I have seen firsthand the terrors poverty and hunger bring and I never want any child to have to experience that. My intended major is Political Science/International Relations because I want to help people on a global scale and I believe that Tulane will help me succeed.

I don't think it focuses enough on why Tulane will help you with this goal more than other schools. At the end you say you believe Tulane will help you succeed. How? Are there particular programs at Tulane that will help you with this? Try to be more specific about Tulane, show that you have done some research.

For example, if you are female and are a particularly outstanding student, you could talk about the Newcomb Scholars Program.

I think fallenchemist provides you some good insight for this response. I too feel you need to have some link to the aspect that how Tulane would help you achieve your goals , both short and long term.There's no harm in bringing in community service aspect into the scene, but you need to discuss more what features of Tulane would help you achieve your dream.