A very compelling choice for me. George Washington University Supplemental Essay (Transfer)

Any advice is appreciated!

Please tell us what excites you about being a member of the GW community.

to build a humane world

I believe that George Washington University is a very compelling choice for me to pursue an economics major.

I look forward to the courses GW offers, which are headed by impassioned professors who look forward to know their students. For example, I would love to take Sumit Joshi's courses in Intermediate Micro and Game Theory, where Joshi's extreme organization, mastery of economics, and willingness to help his students will excite me to work through the challenging classes all while being with a compassionate professor. I would also love to be in John Volpe's courses on International Macro, where Volpe's experiences with the Department of Commerce and encounters with economic giants such as Milton Friedman will make for very delightful lectures. I am also interested in going beyond economics courses to diversity my knowledge beyond economics. Stephen Kaplan's course on Political Economy is a great example, where Kaplan's enthusiasm and engagement with the content will greatly enhance my learning experience beyond economics. The opportunity to be with professors looking for meaningful engagement with their students is exciting for me. With this personalized environment, I will thrive as a strong and vibrant student, hoping that I too can expand the discussions during lectures. If accepted, I will use GW's resources to develop a more holistic view of the world so I can better understand the world around me.

I am also excited to utilize the benefits of GW's active student community so I can better understand how my knowledge applies to the real world. I set my eyes on the GW College Democrats as a great way to engage with the community, where I get to impact the D.C. area through community service and political engagement. I see they host friendly competitions with the College Republicans such as competing to donate the most to a blood drive. I also admire their commitment to various social issues through political engagement, such as participating in the Women's March on Washington. Additionally, the College Dems perform day long community service projects in the D.C. area, such as their various community service events during MLK day. I believe that by exploring my passion of finding solutions to local social issues and doing political engagement here at the College Dems would be a productive way to build a foundation to become an active citizen who is more aware of the ongoing issues of the world. Through fostering a meaningful experience with a community willing to tackle social problems head on, I will develop a more open-minded and tolerant view of the world.

I am a person who is spirited yet versatile in my effort to learn more about the world. Being in GW will help me realize what it takes to venture out and build a humane world. I enthusiastically look forward to being a member of the GW community.

Chris, remove the stand alone sentence at the start of the essay. You don't need that sort of curt and useless introduction. Just open the essay with the strong academic statement in the first paragraph. As for the second paragraph. I was hoping to see more from it than just the political concentration that it has. As a student looking for a well rounded education, you should be looking for a university that will do more than just engage you in political discussions and representative actions. There are other organizations at GU that you can also join, in relation to your major that can help you become a better citizen and future economist. For example. you may want to look into the Alpha Kappa Epsilon, Alpha Kappa PSI, Delta Sigma, Multicultural Business Student Association, all organizations that somehow help you create a network related to your major, which you can use upon your graduation. This is just a suggestion. You should show the reviewer that you really know the way the university excite you about your chosen major in various ways. Not just one way when it comes to joining student organizations.

Hey, first of, thank you guys so much for the feedback. I really appreciate it.

Overall though, what do you think of the essay on a holistic level besides the things you have mentioned? Does it convey myself in a sufficient manner?

You might say that it conveys both the academic and political side of your personality. That is not something that I would consider to be a holistic approach to your personal presentation. Instead, it portrays only two sides of our personality, which does not tell the reviewer much about what kind of things get you excited about learning or the overall student community you are involved in. While you did well in terms of proving your openness and ability to embrace an open form of education, you are boxing yourself into one specific community at the university when you should be excited about the overall community experience instead This is just my personal opinion though. As a reviewer, I would have rather wanted to see that you have the ability to get along with all the students, regardless of party and political affiliations. That creates a closed off personality for you in a way that does not reflect well upon your ability to find and live an exciting live on campus.

I see. With your advice I will change it to be a more personalized essay that conveys many different perspectives about my. These are great advices and I am extremely grateful for what you're doing for this site.