"confessing all my idiosyncrasies" - Note to your Roommate

Hey guys, this is my first time using essay forums. Below is the second stanford essay.

"Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommateïand usïknow you better"

Thanks in Advance!!!

Roommate,
If you were to see an eerie white glow emanating from my room at an ungodly hour in the night, do not fear! More than likely you will encounter me hunched over my computers multitasking by reading the news, listening to music, and playing a blitz game of chess on the free internet chess server.

For me, night is the time to be alive. I think best during the tranquility of the darkness. You might find it odd, but I carry a notebook with me around at night, and at frequent intervals, may scribble something down. Don't be frightened into thinking these are the actions of some sleep deprived insomniac. Some of my most creative ideas occur at night, and when they do come, I always keep a pencil and paper at the ready.

Please don't confuse my nocturnal activities as the sign of a "night owl". Rather, my midnight musings are due to my belief that every minute spent sleeping is a waste. There are things just waiting to be discovered, and here I am lost in my dreams.

If this seems rather disconcerting, I will have no problems taking a step outside, perhaps to the library or possibly to the park.
Let me see - what are my other shortcomings? It is best for two fellows to know the worst of each other before they live together.

Well. I feel compelled to warn you that there might be the occasional complaint of untidiness. Most look at my room and believe a rabid wolverine had been unleashed on an unsuspected stack of papers. But please, do not mistake my untidy working space as a sign of anarchy or laziness. As Einstein said "If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?". Of course, if this bothers you, I'll ensure that at least some semblance of order will be maintained.

I have confessed some of my quirks. So what of you?
(my name)

How is this?

I feel like your essay is too all over the place - there are too many things you're trying to tell us, so I get slightly confused. All your ideas are good, but I think you should focus on just a few of them, and maybe flesh them out more to give us a more in depth view at yourself, rather than trying to tell us everything about yourself in 250 words.

Thanks for the feedback. I decided to scrap the whole "intellectual polemic bit". I think my other essays already reveal that facet of me.

Here is my newly rewritten one.

Rather, my midnight musings are due to my belief that every minute spent sleeping is a waste. There are things just waiting to be discovered, and here I am lost in my dreams. It is not so good to be absolute.

And I think in a brief essay, discribe one aspect of you deeply and specificly is enough.

The question raised in the end seems not so appropriate. Not all the roommates want to share such things with you, after all.

Morning, Shukla xD


Why'd you get rid of that? I quite liked it

Its great otherwise... good luck with Stanford :D

I think this essay failed because of its lack of focus. Im simply going to rewrite it...