My Cornell Application Essay-College of Arts and Sciences :-)

Student007 1 / 1

Dec 28, 2011 #1

jebhogiaye 6 / 14

Dec 28, 2011 #2

you could talk about one of the experiments or books or an anecdote about autism. This is a good start

Jaineel406 5 / 13

Dec 28, 2011 #3

You definitely need to elaborate on certain points make a stronger opening and the ending seemed rushed try and talk about how autism affected you on a specific occurrence or something just got deeper into it

OP Student007 1 / 1

Dec 29, 2011 #4

College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

How things work and why things happen has always been an interest of mine. I have read mountains of books and conducted many experiments to understand everything from salamanders to autism. I used to think that personality and behavior were determined purely by how someone was raised. Then I was diagnosed with autism. The signs had always been there: lack of eye contact, delayed speech and motor skills but the diagnosis was not.

Growing up I knew I was different. I could read and understand college-level books, but my peers could make friends. I tried to tell them about what I learned from my books, but they called me a freak and left me standing alone on the playground. For years, I thought it was my fault that I had no friends. I thought that something must be wrong with me. I wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder, a mild and rare form of autism, until I was fourteen years old, twelve years after my initial evaluation! It was the answer I needed. It was not my fault that I couldn't make friends. My brain was wired differently so social rules seemed like a foreign language. I had to be taught specifically what was and wasn't socially appropriate. It was like a new world for me once I learned how to make friends. I had a place where I fit in and friends who accepted me for who I was.

I began learning all I could about autism to understand myself and how to interact with the world around me. I realized that genetics affected not only how people looked but also how they behaved. Once I understood the connection between genetics and behavior I knew that I had to learn more. I had to know how our genes caused our behavior and how brain structure affected the human understanding and response to the world. The Neurobiology and Behavior program at the Cornell College of Arts and Sciences would give me the knowledge and tools to help people like me understand themselves and the world around them from a biological perspective. Genetics make up a lot of who we are and understanding them is the first step to truly understanding ourselves.

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Here is a revised version. Suggestions are greatly appreciated.

tateezi - / 2

Dec 29, 2011 #5

From my personal experience with Cornell, I can tell you that being very precise with your examples is the best way to go with your essay. You are definitely on the right track with your example and I really like how you used an example that shows how you turned a negative situation positive, and learned from it. However, like Jainee1406 said, the opening and ending sentences need to be stronger and really draw the reader in because anyone can start their essay with "How things work and why things happen has always been an interest of mine". Make it personal and really you, sort of like a sentence that (hypothetically) no one can have. Also, in your last paragraph, really show Cornell how the College of Arts and Science is the right "fit" for you. Fit is very important to Cornell, so be as specific as you can. (Basically, talk about their courses, professors, student body, etc. Convince them that you researched everything about their program)

learner26 4 / 4

Dec 29, 2011 #6

Its good that you could related your personal experience to what you are interested to undertake in uni