Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 6


Cornell College (Mount Vernon, IA) Supplemental essays (why apply & passion)



asomegirl 3 / 7  
Jan 30, 2014   #1
1. What influenced you to apply to Cornell College, and why do you believe it might be a good college choice for you? (100 max)
I have always followed this old Korean saying, 'You can see only as much as you know.' Under a traditional Asian mindset for 18 years, I had a desire to be exposed to a distinctive educational background. Then I found Cornell College's uniqueness in its block plan. During a three-and-a-half week term, I can taste and enjoy one subject in diverse ways including off-campus study. After spending four years at Cornell, I would discover myself as a person who has a great potential to success in her UN career and appreciate the society in a big picture.

2. Cornell's distinctive One Course At A Time (OCAAT) calendar enables students to pursue their passions in extraordinary ways, in the classroom, on campus, and around the world. Briefly describe your passion (s) for learning, exploration, or involvement. (250 max)

Every breakfast, I randomly stare at a world map that has been hanging on the wall next to the dining table since I was ten. From the map, I learned where the Galapagos Islands is located and wondered why the borderlines of Africa are so straight. The map stimulated my curiosity as well as my imagination of the world outside my country. My passion for learning International Relations naturally began.

After the experience of teaching Korean to immigrated Vietnamese woman, I narrowed down my interest to poverty and human development of developing countries. During the volunteering work, I realized that immigrants' human rights are infringed upon world widely in their adopted land. I was inspired to dedicate myself to solving fundamental problems that people in developing countries are facing in and out of their homelands such as unemployment, lack of education and care of their children.

The initial step to my goal would start in Cornell's international off campus program. Through 'Botswana: Development in South Africa' program offered by ACM, I would implement research project and work at Action for Economic Empowerment Trust (AEET). A semester in one of only a handful of countries that makes success with its abundant mineral resources and has a leading role in South Africa will certainly broaden my perspectives on economic, political and social development of the Third World. Next Spring, I will be having the most passionate and adventurous five months of my life, crisscrossing Botswana and Mount Vernon.

* The deadline is Feb. 1st. So I'd be appreciated if you can look over this essay before then :) Good luck to everyone!!!

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 30, 2014   #2
I would discover myself as a person who has a great potential to success succeed in her UN career and be appreciated by the society in a big picture.way

Every breakfast, I randomly stare at a world map that has been hanging on the wall next to the dining table since I was ten.

Since I was ten, at every breakfast, I've been giving a random stare at the world map that hangs on the wall next to our dining table.

From the map, I learned where the Galapagos Islands is located and wondered why the borderlines of Africa are so straight.

With that I learned where the Galapagos Islands are located and wondered why African countries had straight borderlines.
OP asomegirl 3 / 7  
Jan 30, 2014   #3
Thanks for the comment!
However in here, be appreciated by the society in a big way,
I am not talking about appreciated by the society. I want to say that I can observe the society/world in a big way.
How can I refine this sentence?
jl95ac 1 / 1  
Jan 30, 2014   #4
UnderLiving under a traditional Asian mindset for 18 years.. (This might give you a more humanizing appeal)

I cancould taste and enjoy one subject in diverse ways including off-campus study. (It should be in a past tense because this is what you experienced)

I would discover myself as a person who has a great potential to success in her UN career and appreciate the society in a big picture (Who is 'her'??)

Except these minor mistakes, it looks like your essay is well-organized and shows your purpose clearly. Hope you achieve what you want :D
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 30, 2014   #5
Thanks for the comment!
However in here, be appreciated by the society in a big way,
I am not talking about appreciated by the society. I want to say that I can observe the society/world in a big way.
How can I refine this sentence?

Oh.... ok, now I get what you meant :)

I would discover myself as a person who has a great potential to success in her UN career and appreciate the society in a big picture.

I would discover myself as a person having a great potential to succeed in her UN career through her broad understanding about world matters.
Is it giving the idea you wanted to convey? Or still needs improvement?
OP asomegirl 3 / 7  
Jan 31, 2014   #6
I think this will be good :) Thanks again~


Home / Undergraduate / Cornell College (Mount Vernon, IA) Supplemental essays (why apply & passion)
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳